52 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘Project Runway’, Season 16, Episode 13

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Well, it’s finally (almost) here, you guys: New York Fashion Week is so close the designers can practically taste it. On last week’s episode, the judges pulled a Project Runway first by letting all five remaining designers move on to NYFW (!?!?!?!). And now, we get to meet up with them again to see what they’ve managed to whip up in the weeks since leaving NYC to work on their collections.

I don’t know about you, but I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT.

Let’s do this …

  1. Ugh, so they’re NOT gonna send all five designers to NYFW after all … way to burst my bubble right out of the gate, Heidi!
  2. I somehow knew we were being catfished.
  3. Side note: Someone totally should have started a drinking game at the beginning of the season for every time Kenya wears that leopard shawl.
  4. J/K I think we all would have died by Episode 2.
  5. I literally can’t stop staring at poor Tim’s giant forehead Band-Aid. WHAT HAPPENED, TIM?!
  6. Forget winning NYFW for a second — the real winner of Season 16 should be Ayana’s mom, who gave birth to 11 GIRLS.
  7. I gotta say, I’m digging the earthy vibe of Ayana’s collection …
  8. Also into this millennial pink situation Kenya’s weaving through her looks. Love the pink, love the peplum, love those little beady things all over the place — LOVE.
  9. Serious question though: Is Kenya’s family interested in adopting a 32-year-old woman and her two overweight cats? Because they look SUPER fun to hang with.
  10. Also, if that’s what dinner looks like every night at the Freeman house, sign me UP.
  11. I love seeing Tim out in the wild — have you ever seen a more stylish man eating mac and cheese before?
  12. Kentaro’s mom: “Heidi looks like that woman from England who passed away.” Kentaro: “Princess Diana?” — Literally just spit out my wine.
  13. I think Kentaro needs to Dictionary.com the word “cohesive.”
  14. Okay, so his collection is kind of a hot mess … but he’s playing piano in a teeny tiny jean jacket and suddenly everything is right and just in the world.
  15. … On second thought, this might be the single most depressing piece of music I have ever heard.
  16. Wait — WUT.
  17. Kentaro on his musical inspiration: “Oh well, I found a dead cat on the street and after I buried the cat, I put my ear to the ground … and this is the kind of sound I heard.” — HOW IS THAT EVEN A THING THAT HAPPENS?!
  18. Sorry guys, I’m gonna need to take a hard pause for a sec after that BIZARRE AF explanation.
  19. Okay, I am back and I am literally beside myself.
  20. Tim is weirded out, too. You can tell the wheels are turning in his mind.
  21. Yep. He’s getting the hell outta there before he winds up on an episode of Dateline NBC.
  22. Phew — we’re at Margarita’s! I’ve never appreciated an abrupt scene change more.
  23. First thought: Could her parents be more adorable? Second thought: It’s totally true — I finally get why she’s obsessed with color.
  24. And HOLY CRAP, her collection has a lot of color.
  25. All hail Timothy Gunn for making Margarita get rid of those tacky gold rings.
  26. TIME OUT: Brandon took Tim to lunch across from the Full House house? My inner 10-year-old is freaking out right now.
  27. Speaking of shows I was obsessed with as a kid … is anyone else getting a Golden Girls vibe from all those flamingos on Brandon’s collection?
  28. It’s totally making me crave a piece of cheesecake right about now.
  29. Brandon’s girlfriend definitely made it sound like he was sending models down the runway with their butt cheeks hanging out. Where’s all this skin she was talking about?
  30. Kentaro: “It’s 10 looks? I only prepared for 8!” — Guys, my heart just stopped.
  31. And I might have pooped my pants.
  32. Whattttt, Margarita has to make a whole new pair of shorts now? DO WE EVEN HAVE TIME?!
  33. I am so anxious already and we’re not even at NYFW. I’m not sure I’m gonna make it.
  34. Tim on Ayana’s collection: “I have a little bit of a chill right here in my spine.” — That’s the most adorable vote of confidence I’ve ever heard in my life.
  35. Okay, confession: I wasn’t really on board with Margarita’s collection until I saw Jazzmine rocking that one-piece with those shades and that bomber jacket on. Now I am SOLD.
  36. Kenya on the kind of makeup look she wants on her model: “Simple and glowy, with a touch of ‘smack yo mama.'” — I agree, that’s always the look I’m going for.
  37. Watching Heidi roll down the runway on a big screen TV is equal parts hilarious and deliciously awkward.
  38. Hmm … feeling a little underwhelmed by Kenya’s looks now that I’m seeing them on the runway? Her other styles were way less dowdy.
  39. Totally didn’t notice that random side tutu on Kentaro’s white dress until this moment … and I’m confused.
  40. Also still confused how this entire collection was inspired by a dead cat.
  41. Props to Ayana for ultimately trusting Tim’s advice on what looks to show. Margarita was right — you gotta trust the Gunn.
  42. Okay okay, it’s judgment time! * Refills wine *
  43. Omg Kentaro seems to have unleashed some kind of self-deprecating verbal diarrhea all over the runway.
  44. Shhh Kentaro! This isn’t the time to throw yourself under the bus! Stop telling the judges you’re maybekindasorta not ready!
  45. Oh no, it’s down to just Kentaro and Kenya. This is so hard for me emotionally because I basically want to be real-life BFFs with both of them.
  46. This is like my own personal version of Sophie’s Choice and I want to throw up.
  49. Tim: “I feel sick … Kenya, if I had another save, I’d save you.” — GODDAMMIT TIM, NOW I’M CRYING!

Well, that episode just left me weeping in a Margarita-style puddle of emotion. When did Project Runway turn into This Is Us?

See you guys back here next week for the runway show! (If I don’t die of anticipation first.)

You can catch more episodes of Project Runway every Thursday at 9/8 central on Lifetime.

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