25 Hilariously Unwelcoming Doormats

You know how when you arrive at someone’s front door and you can just tell that kind, good-hearted folks live there? It’s an energy you get from the moment you arrive on account of potted flowers, decorative door decor and an inviting doormat that welcome your arrival.

But what if visitors aren’t really your thing? How might you let uninvited porch dwellers know that they’re not welcome inside, or even outside your home?

Why, with an unwelcoming doormat, of course!

  • Hilariously rude doormats 1 of 26

    Take a look at 25 of the best (or worst) unwelcoming doormats that tell uninvited guests how you really feel.

  • Beat it, hippie 2 of 26
    Beat it hippie rude doormat

    What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding? Apparently this doormat, you crochety old man, you.

    Available from Amazon; $17

  • Just wipe it 3 of 26
    Just Wipe it doormat

    Hey, don't tell me what to do! ::feverishly wipes feets:: Can I please come in now?

    Available from Coco Mats 'N More; $24.99

  • Come back with a warrant 4 of 26
    Come back with a warrant funny doormat

    Harsh? Hilarious? Suspicious? You decide (and call for backup just in case).

    Available from Amazon; $19.24

  • Do you live here? 5 of 26
    Do you live here rude doormat

    The perfect gift for that hard-to-buy-for person who don't need (or even like) people. Or presents.

    Available from Amazon; $19.99

  • Go away 6 of 26
    Do away rude doormat

    That awkward moment when you realize this doormat isn't a hilarious joke. We were, uh, just leaving...

    Available from Amazon; $15.08

  • I bite 7 of 26
    I bite doormat

    No one could say the doormat didn't you fair warning. You might want to make sure you're up on your vaccinations just in case...

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $45

  • Yoda not welcome 8 of 26
    Go away you should Yoda doormat

    Leaving I was just. But I'm only going because Yoda man.

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $50

  • GTFO 9 of 26
    Get the f--- out doormat

    Get the f--- out. OK rude. And funny. Because pointy finger mad stick person, obviously.

    Available from Etsy's Valiantstudios; $25

  • Still wanna knock? 10 of 26
    Still wanna knock doormat

    Is that a threat? My two favorite things are coffee and flowers, you should try them sometime.

    Available from Amazon; $26.70

  • Leave it on the doorstep 11 of 26
    Leave it on the doorstep doormat

    Reminds me of Home Alone, "I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property." But back to the doormat, RUDE.

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $45

  • Leave. 12 of 26
    Leave doormat

    I dunno you guys, should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble, and if I stay it will be double.

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $40

  • Life is short 13 of 26
    Life is short try not to be a dick doormat

    That's some damn fine advice right there. Better than any fortune cookie fortune I've ever gotten.

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $45

  • Members only 14 of 26
    Members only funny doormat

    Members of what only? I could really use some clarification here. [Knocking] Hello? Anybody there? Where can I get a membership form?

    Available from GreatGiftsforMen.com; $30.95

  • Not welcome 15 of 26
    not welcome rude doormat

    Not welcome? Neither is your attitude...although I kinda like it, you big jerk.

    Available from Coco Mats 'N More; $24.99

  • Look who’s here 16 of 26
    Oh Happy Fricken Day Look Who's here sarcastic doormat

    Is it the guy, the bird, or both? I kinda like this happy fricken' doormat.

    Available from Hayneedle.com; $23.99

  • Not you again 17 of 26
    Not you again rude doormat

    Ahahaha! It is me again! Oh Mat, you're such a kidder!

    Available from Coco Mats 'N More; $28.99

  • Please stay on the mat 18 of 26
    Please stay on the mat doormat

    Seeing as though I'm the only one standing here, I guess I'm next in line? Is there an estimated wait time? Hello?

    Available from Amazon; $17

  • Relatives by appointment 19 of 26
    Relatives by appointment doormat

    Oh c'mon, you feel this way too. The question is, do you remove this doormat when relatives come to town?

    Available from Amazon; $19.99

  • I’m sick of people 20 of 26
    I'm sick of people doormat

    I bet you are! Hey, here's an idea: DON'T BE A DOORMAT.

    Available from Damn Good Doormats; $45

  • Better stuff 21 of 26
    The neighbors have better stuff funny doormat

    They really do. They also have a better floor plan and a pool.

    Available from Uncommon Goods; $50

  • Call first 22 of 26
    rude funny doormat

    I didn't call first because I knew you wouldn't answer. What's an unwelcome visitor to do? No really, I'm asking.

    Available from Etsy's Valiantstudios; $25

  • We’re good 23 of 26
    We love our vacuum doormat

    That about sums it up, unless of course you're delivering flowers or selling Girl Scout cookies. This doormat isn't rude, it's simply trying to be considerate of your valuable time.

    Available from Amazon; $17.00

  • Don’t expect much 24 of 26
    Welcome don't expect much funny doormat

    ...like a clean bathroom, large refreshment selection, or even good conversation. Don't say we didn't warn you!

    Available from Amazon; $21.03

  • Nice underwear 25 of 26
    Nice underwear funny doormat

    OK, I chuckled. But only because I wasn't wearing any. If you open the door to flush-faced guests, you'll know they aren't wearing any wither.

    Available from Amazon; $17.32

  • Wrong address 26 of 26
    wrong address rude doormat

    Riiiiight. Well, I guess our work here is done...or has it only begun?

    Available from Amazon; $17.00

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