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10 Gifts All Dads Secretly Want (But Probably Won’t Ask For)

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It’s always difficult to buy something special for the one you love, no matter how long the two of you have been together. I’m not sure why this is, but I think it has something to do with the idiom, men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.

When it comes to buying something for fathers, there are always the intangibles that are a sure bet: sex, nap, alone time. But you can’t really put any of that under the tree, now can you? So to save you some tireless Googling or aimless wandering through the men’s section of Target, I spoke with some dad friends, posed the question on a few discussion boards, and came up with a list of 10 things fathers really want for the holidays. Hopefully this makes your life a little easier.

Sega Genesis Classic Game Console 2016

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Star Wars"I Am Your Father" Tee

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Dewalt MAX Cordless Lithium-Ion

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Audible Subscription

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Expendables/Expendables 2/Expendables 3 Dvd Triple Feature

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Cozy Sack 8′ Bean Bag Chair

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Apple Watch

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Napier Outdoors Backroadz Truck Tent

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Shakoolie - The Original Shower Koozie

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This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: (Parenting. Marriage. Madness) by Clint Edwards

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1. Sega Genesis Classic Game Console 2016

The Nintendo Classic Edition has been going in and out of stock for months, which is a total bummer for dads everywhere. But not all is lost: If you can’t find the old school Nintendo console in stores, you can also get the Sega Genesis Classic Game Console 2016! This will have every father reliving late-night sleepovers while playing games like Sonic the Hedgehog and Street Fighter 2. Dad can also relive the classic games that kept all 90s kids up in the night: Mortal Combat I, II, and III.

2. Star Wars “I Am Your Father” Tee

Check it out: Star Wars stuff is a little nerdy. And while nerdy can be cute, it’s not always professional to wear a Chewbacca Hoodie to a work function, or on night out with the wife. (Though if that’s what the dad in your life is into, you can totally get him one right here.) This casual t-shirt is a way for the Star Wars-loving father in your life to look cool while still getting his geek on.

3. Dewalt MAX Cordless Lithium-Ion

I will be the first to admit that I dislike fixing stuff around the house. I swear a lot when I do it. My wife has to take the kids out of the house. But I can say this: After being a dad for 10 years now, it all goes a lot easier with the right tools. The Dewalt MAX Cordless Lithium-Ion is an all-around good drill that any father flustered with a leaky sink will love.

4. Audible subscription

A lot of fathers really love to read, but it’s difficult to find time to sit down and crack open a book without someone tugging at you. With audio books a dad can download a book once a month and listen to it while commuting, or working out, or whatever. It’s a great two for one for a busy dad.

5. The Expendables triple-feature DVD set

Every father grew up watching various films featuring the hyper masculine cast of The Expendables. However, the fact is, there is a hierarchy of films when it comes to parenting: 1) kid films, 2) romantic comedies that married couples can agree on, and 3) something dad actually want’s to watch. With this gift, you are saying to the father in your life, “go watch some nostalgia action films that you probably haven’t seen, featuring all the guys you idolized as a child.”

6. Cozy Sack 8′ Bean Bag Chair

Dump the recliner and get one of these babies for the father in your life. They are awesome. It has a child safety zipper and its microfiber cover can be removed and tossed in the washing machine. It’s big enough to nap on, for sure. But it’s also big enough for almost the whole family to pile onto, which will come in handy when you’re all glued to Dad’s new Sega.

7. Apple Watch

The Apple Watch is just cool, whether or not the dad in your life is a major techie. And if you ask me, the really cool part about it is this: Unlike a smart phone, the Apple Watch is literally attached to your wrist at all times, making it pretty difficult to lose, or have children steal and throw in the toilet. (Please tell me I’m not the only parent who’s had a child throw their phone in the toilet?)

8. Napier Outdoors Backroadz Truck Tent

I love taking my kids camping … once they are old enough. Camping with a toddler is like camping with a wild raccoon, so I’d strongly advise against attempting it until your kids outgrow that phase. But for kids 4 and up? It’s pretty fun. This truck tent is a cool way to go camping anywhere you can drive, provided you have a truck. As a father, I love the idea of breaking away with my kids for a one-night trip. Roast some hot dogs, and head home the next morning. This little sucker makes that pretty easy.

9. Shakoolie — The Original Shower Koozie

Okay, I know. This is probably the tackiest gift ever. It’s a cozy that you can use in the shower. But honestly, if you’ve ever taken a hot shower with a cold drink, you will know exactly how awesome this little gift is.

10. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: (Parenting. Marriage. Madness) by Clint Edwards

Shameless plug: This is a very funny book written by a father of 3 (aka me) that wraps up a lot of the humor and pain of parenting and marriage. The chapters are short to accommodate a father’s busy schedule, and cover such important topics as “5 Things I Never Should’ve Said To My Pregnant Wife,” “Things I’d Love To Do To My Children Once They Are Adults,” and “Why A Mother Doesn’t Want To Be Touched.” Dads won’t be able to put it down. (I promise.)

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