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‘Tis The Season To Survive: An Open Letter To Everyone in America

Dear Retailers, Fellow Parents, and Other People in Charge,

We need to talk. It’s about the holidays. Put down your glue gun and look at me. This is important.

Can we all agree to take it down a notch? Halloween just happened, and I’m already getting Christmas crammed down my throat.

Stop. Just … stop.

I love the holidays. The holidays are my favorite. I like to savor each one and procrastinate until the last possible minute for every single occasion. And while I was hurriedly throwing together my children’s costumes for trick-or-treating and making sure they each had a basket to carry — lest they end up using a shopping bag to collect their candy, like last year — you were talking about what to get your children for Christmas.

No.

Let me eat my deep-fried turkey in peace, and then, after I have stuffed myself to the point of misery, I will consider thinking about Black Friday.
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You see, I can’t start thinking about Christmas gifts yet, let alone buying them, because we still have to have Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is an important holiday. I have to have adequate time to dawdle on menu making, and turkey basting, and making plans to have forced conversation with my extended family members. I need time to relish in the awkwardness of seeing people I normally would not spend time with.

DON’T RUSH ME.

Let me eat my deep-fried turkey in peace, and then, after I have stuffed myself to the point of misery, I will consider thinking about Black Friday.

On Black Friday, I’m still not ready for Christmas; I’m only warming up. We might get a tree up within the next week — maybe. Don’t stress me out by marking all of your decor half off and causing me to feel like I’m running behind again. I’m a mom of three; I am ALWAYS running behind. No matter how fast I wash and fold, there is always more to do. No matter how many times I feed my children, they always get hungry again.

I can’t think about holidays before I absolutely have to, because I’m in a season of life called Survival.

Seeing other women buying tree skirts and pillows with “Yuletide” written on them makes me feel behind. Everyone is buying all of the things! What if there are no things left when December finally rolls around?!

Then what?!

Can’t we all just take a step back and allow each other to enjoy the days as they come instead of forging past Christmas and into Valentine’s Day?

It’s exhausting.

I’m exhausted.

Stop. I beg you.

Love,

A Typical Mom

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