12 Ways to Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Parenting is hard. If you’re a parent, I’m sure that I don’t need to tell you that — but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that yes, our job is a tough one. There is no real parenting handbook and many of us are well-meaning parents who sometimes mess up.

I am home with my kids all the time and when you’re managing children, it can be difficult to remember that they are still learning and before you know it, you find yourself yelling more than you ever thought you would. I am not a perfect parent and there are days (thanks, Clomid!) where my temper is short and my voice gets loud. These are not moments that I am proud of, but you know, they happen to even the most well-meaning people.

If you find yourself yelling at your kids more often than you ever thought you would, here are some ways that you can help reduce the yelling. I’ve been working on this for the past few months and I have to say, it’s been amazing for both the kids and I.

  • How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids 1 of 13
    How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
    Parenting is so stressful and even though we don't want to, we can often find ourselves yelling. How to reduce the yelling to make happier people all around:
  • Really Listen 2 of 13
    Really Listen
    If you're having an argument with your child, make sure you both take the time to really listen. Before I fly off the handle, I like to make sure I give my kids the opportunity to tell me themselves or to explain the situation. It gives you time to think and really listen to them, which is important. They're more likely to listen to you if you listen to them!
  • Lower Your Expectations 3 of 13
    Lower Your Expectations
    One of my biggest struggles is to remind myself of appropriate expectations. I can't expect my youngest to act as responsibly as my oldest and can't expect my oldest to not ever make mistakes. Lowering what you expect -- taking into consideration things like their age -- makes a big difference.
  • Make it Easier 4 of 13
    Make it Easier
    If you don't want to yell, make it easier to not yell. If you're constantly telling your child to stop throwing the pillows on the couch, take them away. If you're always yelling at the kids to put their toys away, put a limit on how many they can have out. Make it easier to not yell and you'll reduce the amount you do.
  • Take a Moment to Breathe 5 of 13
    Take a Moment to Breathe
    This is one of the biggest yell reducers for me. I do my best to take a moment before reacting and take in a deep breath. It makes a world of a difference for me.
  • Whisper Instead 6 of 13
    Whisper Instead
    Instead of yelling, I like to whisper. It's creepier than yelling and it gets the kids attention much better. It can also help diffuse any situation by making things quieter, not louder.
  • Watch For Signs 7 of 13
    Watch For Signs
    Watch for the signs that you're in a short mood or for signs of anger. Keep note on your triggers for anger and try to stop the yelling before it happens.
  • Spend Time Together 8 of 13
    Spend Time Together
    The more time you spend with your kids, the better you'll get at communicating with them. I like to make sure I spend a lot of time giving compliments and that way, when the discipline needs to happen, you're both more likely to understand each other.
  • Don’t Take It Personally 9 of 13
    Don't Take It Personally
    If your child isn't listening or it seems they only don't listen to you, don't take it personally. Remind yourself that kids are still learning and they're not going to be perfect.
  • Pick Your Battles 10 of 13
    Pick Your Battles
    There are some things that just aren't worth the stress of an argument -- or the energy for yelling. Pick and choose your battles and go from there.
  • Remind Yourself 11 of 13
    Remind Yourself
    Remind yourself that your child is still learning, that they are going to make mistakes and that yelling is not an effective way to communicate. Remind yourself that by yelling, you are teaching them to communicate in the same way -- which you don't want.
  • Ask For Help 12 of 13
    Ask For Help
    If you're having a stressful day or have a difficut situation with your child, don't be afraid to ask for help. Whether that's from family, friends or professionals -- know when you need to bring the troops in.
  • Acknowledge You’re Human 13 of 13
    Acknowledge You're Human
    Let's face it -- we're not perfect and that's okay. I yell -- some days more than I want to and all I can do is try better the next time. Don't beat yourself up and use it as a learning experience.

Photo credits: photostock

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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