5 Parenting Grudges I Still Hold

You know what they say about grudges. Well, I hope you know what they say about grudges, because I sure don’t. Oh, wait, it’s something about letting go of them and going on with your life, focusing on the positive and not dwelling on the things that make you unhappy. I think. I wasn’t really paying attention, being too busy clinging to some grudges with all my might. Because lets face it, being a parent is hard enough without getting a dose of bullcrap from people trying to be helpful. Click through for some of the parenting grudges that they’ll have to take from my cold, dead, grudgy hands!      

  • Childbirth is painful, but you forget all about the pain! 1 of 5
    Childbirth is painful, but you forget all about the pain!
    When do I forget about the pain, exactly? Because my oldest is 14 years old and I'm pretty sure I still remember. Vividly. Maybe give it another year?
    Photo Credit: Wiki
  • You’ll be able to wear a bikini after your c-section! 2 of 5
    You'll be able to wear a bikini after your c-section!
    I remember the nurse telling me this as they wheeled me into the operating room. Even though I had never worn a bikini as an adult, I was really excited about this wondrous transformation that awaited me. Still waiting!
    Photo Credit: Wiki
  • Your baby won’t always wake up so early! 3 of 5
    Your baby won't always wake up so early!
    Dear Pediatrician, my wake-up-at -4-am-baby is now a teenager and still an early riser. But now she doesn't scream when she wakes up, so I guess it is better. Is this what you meant?
    Also, if anyone reading this has an early waking baby: I'm so sorry. But you know, early bird, worm. So there's that consolation prize.
    Photo Credit: Wiki
  • You’ll miss Baby Bop! 4 of 5
    You'll miss Baby Bop!
    I'm not even going to talk about the flashbacks I get whenever I see someone purple walking down the street. That's my private pain. But why, WHY, can't Baby Bop talk like a normal baby dinosaur, modeling proper grammar and sentence structure? Why all the "me hungry"?! Maybe this visit to the doctor will give us some insight!
    Get it from Amazon $14.44
  • A new Captain Underpants book is coming out soon! 5 of 5
    A new Captain Underpants book is coming out soon!
    My son was a reluctant reader who sprang to reading life with Captain Underpants. Except then he read the last book in the series and there were no more books.No more Captain Underpants books, that is, I don't mean to suggest that all books in the world disappeared. But instead of saying "no more!" there were hints (in 2006!) that the author was working on future volumes. In 2008, I wrote this plea to the author to write more books! Unfortunately he ignored my polite request. And my son had to live out his childhood Captain Underpants-less. Sniff.
    Get it from Amazon $19.86

Photo source: iStockPhoto

For more of Marinka, visit her personal blog Motherhood in NYC and The Mouthy Housewives, where she doles out advice as though it were candy. Mmm … candy. Also, follow her on Twitter, where she never refers to herself in the third person, but does have a potty mouth. Sorry!

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