7 Things Women Who are a Little Bit Done Having Babies Do

Not that you need to know (or particularly care) about my gynecological haps, but I need to have my IUD replaced next month, or not. Either way, I have to place my feel in the cold, cold stirrups, scoot my business waaaaay down on the edge of the exam table and allow a licensed professional to clear out the cobwebs and remove my 5 year old IUD. It will be then that he/she (hopefully she), will insert another IUD…or not.

I have baby fever for some supremely selfish reasons. I probably shouldn’t have a baby. I’m getting old. I’m tired. My eggs are tired. My youngest just turned 5. Logic has told me my baby making days are over but every time I see a chubby little baby girl wearing tights, bows, or sparkles, I have to resist the very real temptation to scoop up said adorable stranger child and smother her with stranger kisses. Disturbing? Yes. Outside the realm of possibility? Not so much.

Anyway, I’m telling myself I’m done creating small people for this earth but it hasn’t stopped me from engaging in the following behaviors that are freaking even me out, check ’em out after the jump (and hide your babies)!

  • We kinda-sorta-not really-sometimes-always hope for a surprise 1 of 7
    We kinda-sorta-not really-sometimes-always hope for a surprise
    My IUD is like 99.8% effective or something in preventing pregnancy. While there's no way I'm getting knocked up, sometimes I kinda-sorta-not really-sometimes-always wish for a surprise.
    Image credit: Shutterstock
  • We daydream 2 of 7
    We daydream
    I've daydreamed putting my imaginary daughter's hair in pigtails at least 10 billion times. BTW, in this daydream she has no tangles. I've also helped her pick out her wedding dress at least at least half a billion more.
    Image credit: Shutterstock
  • Shop for baby clothes for a baby we don’t have 3 of 7
    Shop for baby clothes for a baby we don't have
    Now who would do a thing like that? Women with itchy ovaries would. C'mon, look at this deliciously precious dress!
    Available from Etsy seller Lil Bambina Boutique, $19.99
  • Go baby pinter-insane 4 of 7
    Go baby pinter-insane
    Oh Pinterest, you adorably crafty savage time suck of pure awesomeness. The only thing worse than baby ideas on Pinterest is Babble's collection of baby ideas on Pinterest. Follow Babble on Pinterest but beware of the cute.
  • We stare 5 of 7
    We stare
    Yes, your baby is so freakishly adorable we want to nibble on their face. If I were you I'd hide your babies from the likes of us. We be a lil bit crazy.
    Image credit: Shutterstock
  • We live vicariously through pregnant bloggers and bloggers with wee ones 6 of 7
    We live vicariously through pregnant bloggers and bloggers with wee ones
    Babble's Being Pregnant and Baby's First Year ("BP" and "BFY" respectively for those of you who wish to be in the know) is the greatest place to stalk - err, read up on gorgeous families expanding their brood. You'll get to know and love these bloggers and their adorable offspring.
    Image credit: Shutterstock
  • We care about names…too much 7 of 7
    We care about names...too much
    We read up on hottest baby name trends, huddle in the corner of Barnes & Noble with baby name books, and keep a secret list of potential baby names in our phone.
    Image credit: Shutterstock

Ladies, tell me I’m not the only person with dusty eggs doing these crazy things!


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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