Do You Have Deranged Family Members? Me Too.

Screen Shot 2013-06-05 at 1.21.00 PMI had a long day at the magazine yesterday and got slammed with two big fashion stories. I got to JD’s school at 5:59 PM. His school closes at 6 PM.

On the way home JD decided he wanted Mac ‘n Cheese for dinner. I still had a list of things that I needed to do for those stories filling my headspace.

I whipped up some boxed Mac ‘n Cheese, boiled a hot dog, and microwaved some mixed veggies while JD watched cartoons. I sat with JD while he ate, but decided I’d eat cereal later.

“Can we play outside now?” JD asked as I cleared the table. It was 7 PM, cool and sunny out—it was also designated homework, bath, and reading time.

I was exhausted. Carlo Jr. was texting and attempting FaceTime communication (with JD, not me), but I kept ignoring. Ahhh, stop. Leave me alone. 

I loaded the dishwasher. “OK, bud, we can play outside,” I said. Some fresh air will prob do me good, I thought tying my Nikes. And JD’s little Nikes.

We went for a long walk and ran around on the grass. It was a good time.

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By the time we got inside it was after 8 PM. JD took a quick shower, didn’t do his homework, and passed out.

I took a shower and crawled into my bed before 9 PM.

There were missed calls from Carlo Jr. and random text messages, but none stating the code word that means call now—sh*t hit the fan.

I never do this, but I just shut my phone off. I usually put it on vibrate at night though I am aware of the “Do Not Disturb” feature on the iPhone5. I just wanted to… be alone. I was off. I wanted nothing to do with anything. Not even my TV, or a book, or lights.

I must have fallen asleep before 10 PM, because I startled awake by my doorbell at 9:45 PM-ish.

I shot up in my bed and dodged for the double-locked door.

I looked through the peep hole to find Brian and remembered my phone was off.

Perhaps someone texted me the code word.

Perhaps the sh*t did hit the fan.

I whipped the door open.

“What?” I said, sleepily.

“Um, why is your phone off?” Bri said looking at me like I was the most ridic person on Earth.

“Is EVERYTHING OK?” I asked Bri. He was standing in the hall.

“Yeah, but Carlo and I thought you guys were like, dead,” he said.

“Because I didn’t answer the phone?” I said.

“Yeah and it was off!” he said. “The whole point of having your phone is being able to find it if you lose it. That feature doesn’t work when it’s off. I know this because I attempted to GPS you.” (Bri knows my passwords. I don’t care. I eff up my technology on a daily basis and he’s 24/7 tech support.)

“Eddie had to buzz me in,” he said. (My cop neighbor.) “He prob thinks you’re dead, too, now.”

“A*s,” I said. “Do you wanna come in?”

“No, I’m going out!” he said. “Carlo made me come here to confirm you were alive.” And with that, Brian texted Carlo. That we were alive.

Real life.

I could say this was a single mom thing. I could say this was an only sister thing. But it’s not. It’s a family thing. And I’m never shutting my phone off again.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love my overprotective family.


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Article Posted 3 years Ago

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