Do You Insist on Meeting the Parents?

When your kids are younger, it’s easier.

You meet a parent in music class, and you get along and so do the kids, so the four of you spend time together.

In grade school, your kid tells you about a friend she made and you see the mom at drop-off. You exchange pleasantries, maybe even become friendly yourselves.

Your kids’ social universe and yours are intertwined. But then something happens.

It’s called high school.


My daughter started high school this year and I know only two of her friends, one girl from her middle school and another that I know from the neighborhood.

All the kids commute to school by themselves, so it’s not a matter of my dropping her off or picking her up one day. I am not going to meet her friends’ parents that way.

And yet I want to.

I want to because I want to know the people that my daughter spends time with. Because I want to know who to call if she’s late. I want to have a community with other parents as our children go through high school together and face a variety of inevitable challenges.

I want to know that we’re on the same page in terms of not letting kids drink in our homes (and if we’re not on the same page, I definitely want to know that). I want to know that we’re in it together, even if we live in different neighborhoods and may not have met yet.

But I also wonder- do I need to get over myself? Do I need to let my teenager make those decisions about who she spends her time with? After all, when she goes to college, I will not be calling her suite mates’ parents. (I’m not sure why I have her living in a suite. I never did.)

What do you think? It is reasonable to want to meet your teen’s friends’ parents? Is it ok to insist on it?
Photo source: iStockPhoto

For more of Marinka, visit her personal blog Motherhood in NYC and The Mouthy Housewives, where she doles out advice as though it were candy. Mmm … candy. Also, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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