Here’s How I’m Failing My Kids

buzzkill-01I try to take a positive approach to parenting. I feel like I’m doing my best most of the time. But of course, you worry. I mean, there are so many things to worry about—huge things like birth defects, failure to thrive, kidnapping.

I don’t know if you know this, but taking responsibility for another human being is a huge deal.

I am proud of my kids. They are turning out great. My kids are nice and interesting and good. But you just never know. There’s so much to think about and hope for, and then you realize there are little things that may be slipping through the cracks. I believe that I am a good mom, but I know I have personal failings that will effect my kids.

Here’s what I’m worried about.

  • I Don’t Encourage Creativity Enough 1 of 7
    I Don't Encourage Creativity Enough
    I'm worried that I don't encourage them to be creative enough. I am not artistic or very creative. I don't paint or draw cute little things. I don't really even decorate our house very nice. I do blog and I think my kids will be decent writers, but I wish I encouraged them more and I wish that they would enter projects in the Art Expo at school and win. There's so much focus in school now on the fundamentals like math and reading, so I know it's my job as their mom to augment their Art education. But I don't do it as much as I feel like I should.
    Photo Credit: Morguefile
  • They Think I’m Lazy 2 of 7
    They Think I'm Lazy
    I'm worried that they think I'm lazy. I like to lay in bed. It's comfortable. I try to finish my housework and blogging by the time my kids come home from school so I'm usually just reading in bed when they get home. I'm afraid their only memories of me will be of me reading in bed. Sometimes they have a day off of school and I think it really surprises them to see me doing things.
    Photo Credit: iStock
  • They Don’t Know About Feminism 3 of 7
    They Don't Know About Feminism
    I'm worried they won't know or care about feminism because I'm a stay at home mom. They don't know much about my mom's divorce or how she raised us basically on her own. They don't really think about the fact that I went to graduate school and used to teach college writing when they were little. They don't know that I've come the long way around to living traditional family roles because I think it's best for them. They just think mom doesn't work and dad makes money.
    Photo Credit: iStock
  • They Might Believe Stereotypes 4 of 7
    They Might Believe Stereotypes
    I'm worried they will believe stereotypes about women because I'm not good at math. I grew up knowing that women could work, fix pipes, and remodel bathrooms because my own mother did it all by herself. But I don't do any of those things. I rarely drive if my husband's in the car because, for me, it's a treat to be driven around. I am not good at math and don't/can't help them with their math homework. I'm a cliche. I know better, but I'm happy this way and in my case I'm not a stereotype but a real person who is really like this. I'm sure they don't understand the nuance of it.
    Photo Credit: iStock
  • They Will Be Lazy 5 of 7
    They Will Be Lazy
    I'm worried they will be lazy because we have a cleaning lady. She comes once a week and I love it. It's an expense my husband and I budget for as an investment in the house and to ease the stress of him traveling so much. My kids still do chores, wash dishes, shovel snow, babysit and mow the lawn, but once a week my house is restored to gleaming whether they helped or not. I've heard that kids who live in clean homes get used to that standard and will be clean when they are adults, but I'm not so sure about the long-term effects of this.
    Photo Credit: Morguefile
  • They’ll Be Ruined by Technology 6 of 7
    They'll Be Ruined by Technology
    I'm worried they'll be ruined by phones, computers, and other technology. We try to be careful with technolog, but we're early adopters and we think technology is fun. We use it every day. All my kids (except my kindergartner) have iPhones and we text each other every day. I worry about their attention spans. I worry about the unknown consequences of being plugged in all the time. I worry that I should be more discerning about our use of technology.
    Photo Credit: iStock
  • I’m Not Active Enough 7 of 7
    I'm Not Active Enough
    I'm worried they won't be physically active because I'm not. My kids are healthy and not obese. My oldest son runs cross country. My kids play outside, walk dogs, ride bikes, and climb trees. But we don't play touch football after Thanksgiving dinner. I don't play tennis. We don't ever go SCUBA diving. I don't like to watch or play sports. I've probably done my kids a disservice by not playing on a city softball league. But I'm not going to. I would if I knew it would help them, but there's so much other stuff to worry about! Sigh.

Read more of my writing at Babble and on my blog, Every Day I Write the Book.

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