Want to live to 100? My 7-year-old can tell you how.
With an innate “knowing,” this kid is a self-proclaimed expert in everything. When he’s not schooling me on the proper way to cook, clean, tie shoes, or drive a car, he’s answering life’s biggest questions and dishing out love advice.
So buckle up, friends! You’re in for a lesson in longevity and laughter you won’t soon forget.
Obvious warning: The following health advice is provided by a professional child (not a licensed medical professional) and is intended for entertainment purposes only.
1. Eat the food your mom makes even when you don’t like it. Potatoes, too. You need to eat the potatoes.
2. Run for 125 minutes as fast as you can. You can only stop to breathe and drink water, OK?
3. Go to sleep when you’re not tired because that’s when you grow and you need to grow a lot to become 100.
4. Brush your teeth so they don’t turn black and fall out.
5. Take a lot of deep breaths. They make you feel good and you need breaths to live.
6. Chew good so you don’t choke. If you choke, you could die.
7. Go to the doctor a lot because he keeps you healthy and gives good stickers.
8. Use a lot of Band-Aids when you hurt yourself so you only lose a little blood instead of too much.
9. Poop when you have to and don’t hold it in just because you’re having fun. My mom says it could make you sick.
10. Stay home from school when you don’t feel good because school can make you sicker.
11. Don’t eat all the Halloween candy, you’ll barf. My friend at school did that and he said his barf was blue.
12. Wash your hands when they look dirty.
13. Eat when you’re hungry or when there’s food because there’s not always food when you’re doing stuff and then you’ll be hungry.
14. Be nice so people will help you feel better when you’re sick.
15. Play with animals because they’re fun.
16. Ask God to live to 100 or even 103.
17. You could ask your grandma, too, because she knows because she’s old.
18. Make sure chicken is cooked before you eat it. That’s what my dad does.
19. Wear your seat belt all the time, even when you’re moving slow.
20. Don’t smoke ever.
21. Gummy vitamins taste better than the ones you have to chew up so take two of those every day.
22. Eat vegetables — even the stems.
23. Play P.E. at school. Don’t just stand there.
24. Apples are good because they have a lot of nutritions in them, so eat them.
25. Don’t be in front of the screen too long because you need good eyes to see at 100.More On