Mom Confession: I Don't Want to Give My Kid a Birthday Party

JD turns 5 on August 30th. I started the whole kid birthday party thing when he was 2 (mistake). His second birthday bash was low-key. I got some balloons, snacks and cupcakes—and told my mom friends to meet us at a park. It was chill. When he turned 3 I had his party at a place called Funtime Junction. There was a bunch of stuff to do: rides, games, bouncy house, crawl space and crafts. Pizza, cupcakes and favors later … I spent about $500. Gulp. When he turned four I chose Jumpnasium. It was the birthday experience from HELL. 

For those of you not on the East Coast, last year our area was hit hard by Hurricane Irene. Luckily JD and I live in a new condo development on a hill, so we didn’t experience any flooding, damage or even a power outage. We just had a taco party with Uncle Bri, because the news leading up to the storm scared me and I made Uncle Bri sleepover.

However, everywhere around us was flooded—including the road to Jumpnasium. Two days before JD’s party it got canceled by the location because of the natural disaster. Because I’m the mom with the kiddo whose birthday coincides with a natural freaking disaster. I had to make “Alert: Party canceled and postponed” cards for his class. The only party date available was a Sunday at 5 PM. Originally 10 boys and 10 girls were RSVP’ed to come and bounce. But, now the party date changed and people could no longer come. Well 1 boy and 9 girls came. You read that right. We just had the party. It was fun, I guess. JD didn’t care. Seriously, what a year. My family always dines out for birthdays but because of road blocks and flooding, only my dad and his girlfriend made it and we went to some random, not-so-yummy place near my condo.

So JD’s birthday is next month and honestly all I want to do is have an ahhh-mazing dinner at my friend Joey’s restaurant, Positano with my family and sing happy birthday—jazz hands. I want to send mini cupcakes and hats into camp on JD’s birthday week. JD wants a party. He wants a party, because he goes to private preschool and we go to big-time birthday parties every weekend. I explained that I didn’t think we should have a big party this year. (Read: I’m lazy. Parties stress me out.) He cried. CRIED.

I booked him a party at a Karate Gym this morning.

The party is in less than a month. HAHA. FML. I made invites on my computer. Snazzy. I am handing them out tomorrow. I need to order cupcakes, buy juice boxes, give a pizza headcount  and buy Ninjago themed napkins and plates. I’m giving everyone a box of crayons as a favor with the tagline “Art is life” on them. JD was like, “No, mom,” with an eye roll. “I want to give everyone [$30 set] Ninjago Legos.” OK.

I am anticipating not getting prompt RSVPs and doing Karate with JD and 17 girls. I’m really jaded from last year’s party, plus a lot of JD’s school friends aren’t in the camp program and I don’t even know who to invite, so I stopped at his school today and interrogated his teachers. And then there’s the money thing. I’ve spent nearly $1500 on three kid parties thus far (w/ no help from the father). That’s like three Jeep payments. Perspective.














My friend Joey always lets JD make a pizza at Positano in Wayne on his bday. So rad!!!












Party from Hell:











  How do you celebrate bdays? Pls share. xo

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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