Navigating A Relationship When You're A Solo Single Mom

Screen Shot 2013-02-28 at 3.40.16 PMI slept at Mr. Suit’s house last night. On a school night.

Here’s the deal.

I’m 32.

I have a boyfriend-ish person for around 7ish-months now. (Carrie had Mr. Big. I have Mr. Suit.)

We like to see each other and not just over a meal, or on a Saturday night. It’s not a realistic adult relationship.

He hasn’t met JD yet, because we are taking the meeting seriously.

When I got home from the magazine last night (with Ciao Bella ice cream as a special dessert treat), I sat with JD while he ate.

Then we did homework. He ate his tahitian vanilla gelato. I gave him a shower. The whole time I knew I was sleeping at Mr. Suit’s. After JD was in his jammies, smelling like a rose, I told him I was going to eat with Mr. Suit. He was a little bummed, but offered to make him a picture. I got ready and JD drew a pic of his class. (Mr. Suit said it was the sweetest thing anyone ever gave him. Melt.)

I left for Mr. Suit’s place in comfy clothes. We ordered sushi and had wine and relaxed. We don’t party hard (haha on week nights). We just like being with each other.

When JD woke up this morning, according to my mom, he was unphased by my whereabouts. When he did ask, she said it got so late that I slept at … Mr. Suit’s house. She made him “eggies” and helped him dress in the clothes I left out. She took the lunch I packed out of the fridge and drove him to school. It was uneventful. I stayed in bed till 9 AM and it was glorious (working from home today, btw).

JD’s dad doesn’t physically help us. My other single mom & dad friends get nights off during the week and rotating weekends off because there are co-parents in the pic that honor custody and visitation. This is their designated time to do whatever they want and they don’t have to tell their five-year-old’s they are dining with Mr. Suit. I have no designated time unless I plot it out.

I love having JD to myself, but that doesn’t mean I can survive on motherhood and work alone. I have to get creative. I don’t need my child’s permission to go out with my boyfriend-ish person and I only sleep out when a family member can stay with him.

I am proud of the steps I am taking to be happy and fulfilled and I encourage all solo single moms to prevail this way, too. Ask yourself this, did your ex prevail? Did he or she get their date nights in when you were alone feeding your newborn at 2 AM. Ask yourself …

Chime in. 

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Article Posted 3 years Ago
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