The Dove Wrappers Don't Help Me

I’m just here eating some Dove chocolates. Did you know they have little inspiring messages in them? I find the messages totally insulting.

The first one tells me to “Go against the grain.” Why should I? What does that mean? Do things differently than everyone else? In my limited activities that would basically mean never wash clothes and don’t feed your kids when they are hungry … that would be going against the grain for me. What’s the point? What if the grain is good and I want to be like the grain?

Another one says, “Listen to your heartbeat and dance.” Hello? I’m eating candy. That’s how I read your little inspirational noteā€”it was wrapped around candy. How do you think that makes me feel? Fat and inactive. It fails to inspire me to dance and it also discourages me for the rest of the day.

I am also encouraged to “Sing along with the elevator music.” I fail to see how this accomplishes anything besides making other people in the elevator feel uncomfortable and possibly even sorry for me. Elevators are small. When I see people doing this I assume they have personality disorders.

Another wrapper advises, “Love without rules.” I don’t see how any good can come of this. Isn’t “loving without rules” the philosophy of men who have affairs? Not cool.

And the last one simply claims, “There’s no excuse not to dream. Stop sending mixed messages!

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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