The Special Bond Between Mothers and SonsLisa Quinones-Fontanez
There is something very special about the bond between mothers and sons. I didn’t realize how special it was until I become a mother to a baby boy. And when I look back at my pregnancy, I can’t believe I was worried.
Like most expectant mothers when asked if I wanted a boy or a girl, I said, “I don’t care what I have so long as the baby is healthy.” And I meant it. But I have to confess: I really wanted a girl.
Before I knew what I was having – I had a dream. I remember waking up and shouting “It’s a girl!” I was so excited, I had visions of mother/daughter shopping sprees and painting each other’s nails and playing with dolls. For the next few weeks, I wandered through children department stores looking at dresses and skirts and little pink bows. Shopping for little girls was so much fun.
Three days before my 30th birthday, I walked into my sonogram appointment hand in hand with my husband. We were anxious to know the sex of our first child. When the clinician told us we were having a boy – my husband couldn’t stop smiling and there were tears in his eyes. He was going to have someone to throw the football around with.
I cried too. I was happy, grateful that I was having a healthy baby boy. But I was scared. What would I do with a boy? How could I possibly bond with my son? I’m as girly girl as they come. I don’t play sports, watch sports or understand sports. Roller coasters scare me and I don’t like getting my hands dirty. I don’t care about cars or play video games. I can’t even ride a bike. I worried that being a boy mom wouldn’t be fun for me and that my son would think I was the world’s dullest mother.
And then Norrin was born. The older he gets, the stronger our bond becomes. And it has nothing to do with any of the things that I worried about. When he reaches for my hand, I know that I am the only mother for him. Norrin and I just have a great time together. He makes me laugh like I’ve never laughed before. I love playing with cars and sword fighting. I don’t mind that he wants to wrestle or play catch. And he doesn’t mind that I can’t throw a ball to save my life. And now I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like if I wasn’t a boy mom. And you know what else? Shopping for boy clothes is just as much fun.
It’s Mother’s Day weekend and I asked my favorite mom bloggers to share what they love about motherhood and raising boys.
Mothers and Sons 1 of 9
Click through - 8 mom bloggers explain what makes raising sons so wonderful.
Meant To Be 2 of 9
"What is it like being the mother of three boys? It feels like I was meant do be the mother of boys. For me, it's a divine hand tailored blessing. My father died when I was barely six years old, resulting in me growing up in a household of females. Males were an intimidating mystery, until one only seconds old was placed in my arms. Watching my first born son from the first minutes he was born as he grew into the 18 year old young man I am now proud to be the mother of, has helped me in all my relationships with the males I have come to meet and work with. There is no uncomfortable unknown of strangeness of men -- I have seen their beginnings and understand they are someone's son. It has, in no fewer words, placed me on a different plateau of living. I was hand picked and chosen, to be the mother of only boys."
-Alexandra Rosas, Good Day Regular People
It’s a Dirty Job 3 of 9
Boys Will Always Be Boys 4 of 9"Max may have cerebral palsy, but in many ways raising him is like raising any boy. He loves cars, trains and whatever has wheels and goes fast. He can eat his body weight in ice-cream, and regularly tries to convince me it's perfectly fine to have as a main course. He's perfectly fine with pulling dirty t-shirts out of the laundry and re-wearing them. He thinks farting is hysterical. And he thinks his mommy walks on water."- Ellen Seidman, Love That MaxPhoto credit: Yasmeen Anderson
The Best Job Ever 5 of 9
"Being my little man's mom is one of the best jobs I have. He is sweet, timid, curious and definitely keeps me on my toes. He is my first born and watching him grow is very bittersweet. I treasure the conversation and the memories we make. I am lucky to be his mama."
- Ruby Wright, Babble Contributor
Read more from Ruby at Growing Up Blaxican
Lessons In Love and Life 6 of 9"I always wanted a boy. Having Max has changed my life in ways I never knew possible. He has taught me tender love and ferocious protectiveness. He has shown me how precious and fragile life is, and to cherish every second. I am technically his mother, but it seems I am the one learning all the lessons of life from my only child. My heart will always be wide open to him and I will do everything in my power to raise him with the best intentions."
- Nicole Presley, Babble Contributor
Read more from Nicole at Presley's Pantry
Boys to Men 7 of 9"There are a few things a mother thinks about when raising boys. It starts out that you want them to stop moving because they never stop moving. Then you want them to stop pretending to shoot each other with pencils, stuffed animals, books or anything they can find to make into a pretend gun. Eventually, the thoughts evolve into how to raise these uncontrollable, emotional, testosterone-driven boys into respectful and empathetic men, ones who do not bully or hurt other people."
He’s My Inspiration 8 of 9
From the moment my son Norrin was born, my entire world changed. It's like I was given a new pair of glasses. I just see things differently. I fully understand the responsibility that comes with raising a son. I want him to be kind, loving, generous and respectful. I want him to possess all the qualities of his father. Before I was a mom, I was content with the way things were. Being a mom, especially a mom to a little boy with autism, he inspires me on a daily basis. He inspires me to be a better person, he inspires me to make a difference.
The Great Secret of Motherhood 9 of 9
"Before I had my two boys, my belief was that as a mom, it was my job to teach them everything I knew about the world. Oh, but God sure has a funny sense of humor, because as soon as my firstborn arrived, I realized how very little I actually knew about....anything. There is no room for Ego when it comes to parenting. The glorious truth is, everything worth knowing about life and love I've learned from my kids, not the other way around. And that is the greatest secret of motherhood."
- Jo Ashline, Joashline.com
From left: Andrew, Jo, and Ian Ashline
Read more of Lisa’s writing at AutismWonderland.