When Preschool Assignments Go Bad

It all started innocently enough. Zachary was very excited that it was finally his turn to take his preschool group mascot, Haley the Hippo, home for the weekend. The instructions were pretty simple- take care of her, have fun with her, and document your adventures. Zach was very clear that we needed to be gentle with her. He obviously took his duties as her caretaker very seriously.

He was sure to bring Haley with us on our outings, when appropriate. We left her in the car when we took a walk through the muddy eucalyptus grove, but she was lucky enough to visit the zoo and she even wore her pretty pink dress when she joined us for dinner at a friend’s house. It was all going well until I had a margarita (or two) and Zach made the unwise decision to leave Haley unattended while he played Wii with his brother and friends.

At that point, Haley’s adventures took a turn for the inappropriate. And because I can’t, in good conscience, document all of this in her preschool diary, I thought I’d share her shenanigans here. You can check it out below.

Then tell me, have you ever taken control of your kid’s school assignment…for your own entertainment?

  • Headed Home 1 of 14
    Headed Home
    Things started off really well. My youngest wasn't with us, so Haley got to sit in his seat. Safety first!
  • Stop! Shower Time! 2 of 14
    Stop! Shower Time!
    Haley stood guard as Zachary took a shower. She was even kind enough to hold onto his glasses for him.
  • Giraffes 3 of 14
    Zach was able to introduce Haley to the Giraffes. They didn't seem too interested in her, though.
  • Gorillas 4 of 14
    One of the gorillas at the zoo decided to get up close and personal with us while we were in the viewing area.
  • A Rattler 5 of 14
    A Rattler
    Zachary wasn't sure about turning his back on the rattlesnake, but he made sure to keep Haley protected.
  • Ant Hill 6 of 14
    Ant Hill
    He took Haley for a few trips down the playground's "Ant Hill."
  • Trampoline Time 7 of 14
    Trampoline Time
    At a friend's house before dinner, the boys took Haley into the trampoline to work off some energy.
  • Cocktails 8 of 14
    After her turn on the trampoline Haley noticed my margarita and that's when things started to go south.
  • Horseback Riding 9 of 14
    Horseback Riding
    I'm not sure how she managed it, but she made it onto the horse. I suspect she thought it was a bucking bronco ride.
  • Swinging from the…Ceiling Fan 10 of 14
    Swinging from the...Ceiling Fan
    This is when I knew we were really in trouble. Luckily, the fan wasn't on so her joy ride was short lived.
  • Face Down 11 of 14
    Face Down
    Then she started stumbling around and ended up face down a few times.
  • Eat Your Veggies 12 of 14
    Eat Your Veggies
    In an effort to sober her up, and redeem myself with our Preschool staff, I offered her some veggies and a glass of water. It seemed to work until...
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 13 of 14
    The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
    ...She met the Dragon. Oh. My. Goodness. This isn't acceptable at all. She claims he was just giving her a massage, but I didn't buy it. To timeout she went.
  • Lights Out 14 of 14
    Lights Out
    It didn't take long until she was passed out on the couch. We're hoping for a pretty tame final day. I think Haley might be ready to go back to preschool now.

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