I posted a meme on my Instagram page about forgiving yourself today. Yesterday, I saw some words about the importance of taking care of yourself and had to share that, too. And the day before that, I wrote a piece about a body-positive photo shoot I had and how I believe all mothers should do this because it’s life-changing.
I live for supporting and encouraging other women and moms. I love telling them how amazing they are because I believe that to my core. There’s no hesitation in my voice when I’m consoling or trying to support a friend who’s beating herself up. I don’t believe the harsh words they are saying about themselves and want nothing more than to take them away so they see what I see.
When I see other women and girls talk bad about their bodies, their minds, or how they dealt with something, I don’t let them get away with it. And I for damn sure don’t let my daughter get away with it. I feel the need to set her straight right away because I love her. People don’t hear these messages about themselves enough.
But to be honest, I’m struggling with believing these same things about myself. I’ve been posting these inspiring memes and writing about body positivity, wanting so much for every woman and girl to love themselves — yet I pick myself apart and constantly tell myself I can do better.
It’s as if these positive messages don’t quite pertain to me. Which is messed up, I know. And I am working on it.
Part of the reason I feel so passionate about spreading the positivity around is because I need it. Really need it.
I tell myself for every birthday that this will be the year — this will be the year I let it all go, accept every flaw, and love myself unconditionally “no matter what.”
But the truth is, we all have bad days when we look in the mirror and don’t feel amazing — not even a little bit. We beat ourselves up, overthink, replay in our heads all the things we can do better, even if we nailed life the day before.
Sometimes these days and moments come out of the blue and we have no idea how they came to be. We just know the feelings are there, that they stick, and no matter how hard we try to shake them off, they just don’t want to leave.
But I’ve realized something: Self-love is a journey. It’s long; it’s hard. It comes with bumps in the road. Sometimes you take a wrong turn, but when you get back on track, you feel more in touch with yourself than ever. But that doesn’t mean you won’t lose your way again, and that’s okay.
You are allowed to lose your way. You are allowed to have a crappy day or moment. It doesn’t mean you “don’t believe in yourself.” You came into this world flawed and that’s how you’ll go out. The point is to accept yourself along the way.