13 Celebrity Moms We Hope Never Start Mom Blogs

Gisele is just like us! Only perfect in every possible way.

The blogosphere is a ginormous space, free to anyone who’s brave enough to bare their soul. I’m not here to deny anyone the opportunity to begin their blogging journey, but there are certain celebrity moms we really hope decide to launch children’s clothing lines instead of blogs. 

I’m the first to cringe every time a celebrity mom announces they’re launching a parenting blog. Knowing how hard we regular peeps of the non-famous variety have to work to establish an online following, I die a little inside whenever a celebrity blog is launched to instant readership. Is it wrong to feel that way? Probably, but just try and stop me.

Corine of Complicated Mama wrote the post, Are Celebs Relatable Mom Bloggers? Personally, I think hell no. Celebs, they’re just like us! They change dirty diapers! OMG, how so totally honorable! Celebs, they’re just like us! They have  nannies, a housekeeper, a personal assistant, and a personal chef! Oh wait…nevermind.

I did some field research (like the “ask everyone I know” kind) and inquired as to which celebrity moms should never, ever, ever, under any possible circumstance start a mom blog.

Friends, the masses have spoken:

  • Gisele Bundchen 1 of 13
    Gisele Bundchen
    My dearest Gisele, 100% of mothers agree that you are not a mommy friend. As the statuesque Queen of all Sanctimommies, you are hereby forbidden from publishing a mom blog reprimanding mothers for formula feeding, using disposable diapers, or possessing inferior genes.
  • Whitney Houston 2 of 13
    Whitney Houston
    Whitney darling, while your talent amazes us we're not even sure we'd trust you to feed our cat while we were away.
  • Kelly Ripa 3 of 13
    Kelly Ripa
    Kelly, girlfriend, tone it down a little. All that pep and spunk is just too much for us mombies; for reals.
  • Demi Moore 4 of 13
    Demi Moore
    Demi, Demi, Demi...partying with your kids and baiting young dudes? You're honestly freaking us out a little, and by a little I mean a buttload.
  • Britney Spears 5 of 13
    Britney Spears
    Brit Brit, every single mom reading this post has done a little rump-shakin' to your tunes. I have to admit though, the whole driving with your kid on your lap/shaving your head/conservatorship thing? Me thinks we don't have much in common.
  • Beyonce 6 of 13
    Beyonce, you're probably a literary genius seeing as though there's nothing you cannot do. Do us all a solid and leave the mom blogging to those of us without 16 nannies, 2,200 square foot nurseries, and Oprah as a godmother.
  • Mariah Carey 7 of 13
    Mariah Carey
    My darling butterfly Mariah, your talent and blingy divalicious tendencies are completely unrelatable, and yeah, wildly obnoxious.
  • LeAnn Rimes 8 of 13
    LeAnn Rimes
    LeAnn, we know you're a "Bonus Mom" but we haven't seen you do anything besides vacation in Mexico in a teeny bikini for like 3 years now. It's highly unlikely our motherhoods jiggle or jive.
  • Camille Grammer 9 of 13
    Camille Grammer
    Camille, you famously compared yourself to Jesus for helping a friend and swear you're busiest person on earth. What do I know? Managing a household staff of thousands might just keep a gal busy and Jesus-like.
  • Katie Holmes 10 of 13
    Katie Holmes
    Katie, it's not that we don't like you. It's that we don't like your couch-jumping husband. Oh, and your daughter's $100,000 tree house.
  • Angelina Jolie 11 of 13
    Angelina Jolie
    Your Highness Angelina, something about your regal posture and goodwill work makes the rest of us feel inadequate. Somewhere deep down there's a little Gisele in you; I just know it. Oh, would it kill you to slouch a little? Geez.
  • Nadya Suleman 12 of 13
    Nadya Suleman
  • Madonna 13 of 13
    Madonna, we loves you big time. But you don't let your kids watch TV or eat ice cream. For these reasons alone, we'd like to kindly ask you to step away from the mom blog (and the fake British accent).

[Photo credits:]

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