18 Tips to Help You Be the Best Bridesmaid or Maid of Honor Ever!

Once upon a time I was a bridesmaid, and then a couple of years later I got to be one again. I was a bride twice, but I only like to focus on the second time (that was the time I got it right).

It was also the time in which I experienced planning a wedding and all the joys and stresses that come along with it. When given the honor of being in a friend’s wedding we would like to think we do everything right. We hope that we do our loved ones justice as we represent them on and help them prepare for their big day. For many of us it isn’t until we are brides ourselves (or had a negative experience while in a wedding party) that we truly realize importance of the role of a bridesmaid or maid of honor.

They’re roles so important that should you be called to duty for a best friend or family member’s wedding, you’ll want to be the best you can be. To help you in your quest to be the best, I am sharing 18 tips I’ve picked up from my own experiences as well as some shared with me by other former brides and bridal party members.

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  • “In My Opinion…” 2 of 19
    "In My Opinion…"
    These are three words you should think twice about using, particularly when it comes to decisions the bride is making about her wedding. Unless she genuinely wants your feedback, keep it to yourself. And if it is negative… definitely keep it to yourself. Even if she has her heart set on hot-pink wedge sneakers for the wedding party and you hate the idea, just smile and ask, "With or without socks?"
  • Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size 3 of 19
    Act Your Age, Not Your Shoe Size
    I remember hearing that saying when I was younger. Something about having to work with a group of women brings out a different side of people. Whether the wedding party likes each other or not isn't important. The bride loves you. For her sake, don't bicker. If there are major issues, try to resolve them without the bride's help, or seek out support from the wedding planner.
  • Don’t Bite off More Than You Can Chew 4 of 19
    Don't Bite off More Than You Can Chew
    If something is too much, whether it's expenses or hosting the shower at your house — be honest. It is better than venting to everyone else about it (and it's likely it will get back to her) or being frustrated and miss out on the fun.
  • Be on Time 5 of 19
    Be on Time
    Be on time to rehearsals and events. If there is something that is interfering with your ability to do so, warn the bride in advance so she's not waiting on you.
  • Try not to Take it Personally 6 of 19
    Try not to Take it Personally
    While it isn't okay for the bride to be mean or nasty, remember that everyone handles stress differently. There is a reason the TV show Bridezillas exists. Remember that this too shall pass.
  • Now May not Be the Time to Try Something New 7 of 19
    Now May not Be the Time to Try Something New
    I don't drink; however, minutes before my best friend's reception, I joined the rest of the party and took a drink of alcohol, the hard stuff. I hoped it would give me some "liquid courage" so I could do a mini-dance number when the wedding party got introduced at the reception. It did. It also made me really sick and I had to go to the bathroom to vomit multiple times. I missed out on really enjoying being a part of a special time in her life because I made myself sick.
  • Don’t Disappear 8 of 19
    Don't Disappear
    Now is not the time to go missing. You never know when your help is needed during the planning process and during the ceremony and reception (you never know when the bride may want a photo op with her girls). Be reliable.
  • Don’t Forget to Check In 9 of 19
    Don't Forget to Check In
    Set aside a moment from planning to have a heart-to-heart with your friend — there could be something bothering her that she's worried about bringing up. Does she seem stressed out? Be there, and offer your love and support.
  • Take Charge and Delegate 10 of 19
    Take Charge and Delegate
    For some reason I felt bad asking my friends to help me. So the night before my wedding, I stayed up printing and cutting menus and signs. I packed up decorations, and did a ton of last-minute things that kept me up at least 3 a.m. These are things that I'd have gotten done much easier had I enlisted help. Don't wait for the bride to hand you a "to-do" list. If you are the MOH, meet with her to find out what things need to be checked off. Consider giving small tasks to each member of the bridal party. Stay on top of who's doing what so you can reassign a task that hasn't been done.
  • Speak From Your Heart 11 of 19
    Speak From Your Heart
    When it comes to a toast at the wedding, don't worry about whether or not your public speaking skills are up to par. Just speak from your heart. Talk to the couple instead of worrying about pleasing the crowd — after all, the speech is for them.
  • Make Sure the Bride Eats 12 of 19
    Make Sure the Bride Eats
    Whether it's jitters or the excitement of the big day, check in with her to make sure she's eating and drinking. A headache or dehydration can put a damper on the festivities.
  • Don’t Bash the Groom 13 of 19
    Don't Bash the Groom
    The fact that you hate him doesn't matter now that the venue's booked and the invites are sent out. The bride loves him — it's better to keep negative comments about the man she is marrying to yourself.
  • Be Considerate When It Comes to Social Sharing 14 of 19
    Be Considerate When It Comes to Social Sharing
    She may not be too happy about you instagraming her while she's in her robe with no makeup on, while you've already gotten your hair and makeup done. Ask beforehand if you aren't sure how she will feel about you showing the world her bachelorette party antics or pre-wedding bedhead.
  • Be the Middleman 15 of 19
    Be the Middleman
    She is sitting in the chair getting her makeup done and suddenly she gets a frantic call. "The florist did ranunculus instead of roses!" Some situations may be able to be addressed before the bride gets wind of them. Some things can be resolved without her ever having to know, at least not until after the big day. Help take calls or stand guard of the door to the bridal suite.
  • Don’t Make Any Major Changes Without Approval 16 of 19
    Don't Make Any Major Changes Without Approval
    If the bride saw your bridesmaid dress one way and liked it, don't change it without her approval.
  • Keep it Together 17 of 19
    Keep it Together
    You shouldn't be the one having a meltdown before the wedding. Period. And be nice to the guests, to the vendors, to everyone. Be nice.
  • Allow Her to Shine 18 of 19
    Allow Her to Shine
    If you are engaged or pregnant it is very likely that people will see you and want to know when the big day is. You can thank them for their interest and shift the focus back to the woman of the hour — the bride-to-be.
  • Remember Whose Day it Is 19 of 19
    Remember Whose Day it Is
    At the end of the day this isn't about you. Yes, you are a very important part of a special day for the bride, but this is her day. Don't allow little things to come between the two of you. Focus on being genuinely happy for your friend. While it is nice to be acknowledged for your hard work, time. and money spent remember why you said yes. Hopefully it wasn't out of obligation, but out of love.

Now it is your turn. What advice can you offer to future maid of honors and bridesmaids to be the best they can be?

Photo Source: Visionaries Media/Scott Sudduth/Personal


Article Posted 4 years Ago

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