20 Funny, Fabulous & Famous Quotes About Being a Parent

Image source: Thinkstock
Image source: Thinkstock

One thing every parent needs? A little humor in your day. Especially when you’re having one of “those days”. Parenting as many would agree is the toughest job out there. And while it can be frustrating, fun, fascinating and filled with challenges, it can also be downright hilarious.

If you happen to be having one of “those days” or just need a good chuckle, check out these 20 funny, sweet, and sometimes sarcastic quotes about being a parent, a kid and a mom.

1. “The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.” Clarence Day

2. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck

3. “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner.” Ben Bergor

4. “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found…” Calvin Trillin

5. “Having one child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.” David Frost

6. “If you’ve never been hated by a child, you’ve never been a parent.” Bette Davis

7. “I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.” Dave Barry

8. “If you want a baby, have a new one. Don’t baby the old one.” Jessamyn West

9. “Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.” Michael West

10. “Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.” Red Buttons

11. “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” Ed Asner

12. “Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” P.J. O’Rourke

13. “I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job.” Roseanne Barr

14. “I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.” Woody Allen

15. “The truth is that parents aren’t really interested in justice. They just want quiet.” Bill Cosby

16. “Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; not I have six children and no theories.” John Wilmot, Earl of Roschester

17. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” Milton Berle

18. “I am not allowed to sing, dance, laugh or wear short skirts. Having a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban.” Kathy Lette

19. “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” Joyce Armor

20. “Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.” Phyllis Diller

Article Posted 7 years Ago

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