3rd Grade Teacher Fired for Using Insane, Terrifying, Violent Math Word Problems

crazy math problems, insane math word problems, singapore math
Math problems about aliens attacking Earth are one thing, but dead children should be off limits as subject matter.

Remember the GA elementary school that was using slavery as a subject matter for its math word problems? Now a Washington D.C. teacher has been fired for assigning bizarre, violent and¬†traumatizing math problems as homework to her third grade class at Center City Public Charter School’s Trinidad campus. The problems were not part of the school’s curriculum, according to Dr. Beverley Wheeler, the CEO of the charter program, who says, “We are about character, excellence and service and I found them to be violent and racist.”

The word problems were downloaded from a website called Homeschooling Paradise. A few of the 20 problems are totally benign, but most of them are indeed not only disturbing but were clearly written by someone whose first language is not English. These
“Singapore math problems” sound like the rantings of a lunatic. Flip through them and let me know what you think. Adults will no doubt find them hilarious, thanks to the insane subject matter:

  • Bloodthirsty Aliens 1 of 20
    Bloodthirsty Aliens
    Green aliens landed in Chicago and rounded up 1479 math teachers. The bloodthirsty aliens then sucked the blood of 828 teachers and left them for dead. The aliens tied up the rest of the teachers and marched them into 3 UFOs. If there were an equal number of poor math teachers in each UFO, how many teachers were in each UFO?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Screaming Cannibals 2 of 20
    Screaming Cannibals
    My 3 friends and I were caught and tied up by 1023 screaming cannibals in a jungle last night. Soon we were feeling terribly itchy because of the mosquitoes. We begged the cannibals to scratch us. 219 cannibals refused because they were busy cutting vegetables. The rest of them, however, surrounded us in equal numbers and began to scratch us with their teeth, just like dogs. It felt good! How many cannibals scratched me?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Asteroids Smashing Into Earth 3 of 20
    Asteroids Smashing Into Earth
    Human terrorists landed on Planet Xintaks and abducted Princess Txsclotyl. The enraged aliens hurled 1420 asteroids at 7 terrorist training camps on Earth. 482 asteroids landed harmlessly in the Pacific Ocean. However, the rest of the asteroids smashed into each camp in equal numbers. How many asteroids smashed into each camp?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Kid Swallows Marbles and Dies 4 of 20
    Kid Swallows Marbles and Dies
    John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Wolf Sells Chickens to Bear 5 of 20
    Wolf Sells Chickens to Bear
    Wade Wolf crouched behind some bushes near a waterhole. When a brood of 6 chickens and 8 chicks approached the waterhole, Wade Wolf pounced on them and threw them into a sack. He then went to the market and sold the chickens for $9 each and the chicks for $5 each to Brian Bear. If Brian Bear had $62 left after paying for the fowl, how much money did he have in the beginning?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Delicious Bones 6 of 20
    Delicious Bones
    Molly Mongrel went to the market and bought 8 ostrich bones for $6 each and 7 camel bones for $9 each. If she had $129 after paying for the delicious bones, how much money did she have before buying the bones?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Adam Explorer 7 of 20
    Adam Explorer
    Adam Explorer needed some ropes and binoculars for his next expedition. He bought 4 ropes and 8 pairs of binoculars. He paid $3 for each rope and $4 for each pair of binoculars. If he had $552 after paying for the items, how much money did he have in the beginning?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Crying, Shrieking Trolls 8 of 20
    Crying, Shrieking Trolls
    My brother and sister kept 263 trolls in a huge cage in our backyard. They went into the jungle yesterday and caught more trolls. When they came back home, they brought back 8 sacks and 7 boxes. There were 8 crying trolls in each sack and 7 shrieking trolls in each box. They threw the trolls into the cage with the other trolls. How many trolls are in the cage now?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Marvin Monkey 9 of 20
    Marvin Monkey
    Marvin Monkey passed his Singapore math test with flying colors. His delighted mother gave him 9 pieces of $50 notes. Marvin went to a shop and bought 4 sunglasses at $21 each and 6 golden bananas at $13 each. How much money did he have after paying for the items?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Elvis Presley 10 of 20
    Elvis Presley
    Elvis Presley went to a shop with 19 pieces of $20 notes. He bought 9 frilled shirts at $14 each and 8 flared pants at $18 each. How much money did he have left after paying for the cool clothes?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Susan Shark Buys Tender Humans 11 of 20
    Susan Shark Buys Tender Humans
    Susan Shark had 15 pieces of $50 notes in her handbag and had to cook dinner for her hungry children. She went to the supermarket and bought 8 tender humans at $26 each and 7 juicy mermaids at $29 each. How much money did she have after that?
    Photo via Flickr
  • UFOs 12 of 20
    A UFO landed in my backyard yesterday. I had 34 pieces of $20 notes in my pocket. I bought 8 laser guns at $43 each and 25 cute long-haired zulags at $5 each from a purple-eyed alien. How much money did I have after that?
    Photo via Flickr
  • SWAT Team Kills Terrorists and Murderers 13 of 20
    SWAT Team Kills Terrorists and Murderers
    Brian, a brave member of a SWAT team in California, had a terribly busy week last week. He had to work for 7 whole days. He killed 163 terrorists, 296 murderers and 206 arsonists. How many criminals did he kill on average each day?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Witchcraft School 14 of 20
    Witchcraft School
    Hideous Hilda opened a witchcraft school in Singapore. 426 harpies, 215 vampires and 127 ghouls enrolled in her school. If she divided the knowledge-hungry monsters into 6 classes, how many monsters were in each class?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Tiger Bakes Africans in Oven 15 of 20
    Tiger Bakes Africans in Oven
    Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Fiona Fairy 16 of 20
    Fiona Fairy
    Fiona Fairy caught 209 parrots, 332 parakeets and 203 peacocks and put them equally into 6 huge birdcages. How many birds were in each birdcage?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Lumberjack 17 of 20
    A lumberjack cut down 926 trees. He chopped up 290 of the trees for firewood. He sold the remaining trees equally to 4 factories. A) How many trees did he sell altogether? B) How many trees did he sell to each factory?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Creepy Cockroaches 18 of 20
    Creepy Cockroaches
    My mother bought 1500 creepy cockroaches from the supermarket. She baked 548 of the cockroaches on my birthday. She packed the remaining cockroaches into 4 bags and put them in the freezer. A) How many cockroaches went into the freezer? B) How many cockroaches were in each bag?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Grilled Porcupines 19 of 20
    Grilled Porcupines
    Thomas Thief sneaked into a zoo late last night and kidnapped 791 porcupines. 105 porcupines stabbed him with their quills and escaped. Thomas was enraged. He boiled half the remaining porcupines in a huge cauldron and grilled the other half. A) How many poor porcupines did not escape? B) How many porcupines did evil Thomas grill?
    Photo via Flickr
  • Fire Ants Colonize Brain 20 of 20
    Fire Ants Colonize Brain
    When I was sleeping in a forest last night, 2555 fire ants crawled up my nose and built a nest in my brain. I woke up screaming the next morning. My distraught mother rushed me to hospital for an emergency operation. The doctor was able to kill 1953 fire ants. The remaining ants in my brain formed themselves into 7 equal-sized groups and fled to 7different organs in my body, one being my stomach. A) How many fire ants escaped? B) How many ants fled to my stomach?
    Photo via Flickr

Problems sourced via Scribd

It seems clear to me that the teacher who assigned these problems either was having a mental breakdown or simply printed the sheets off the Internet and didn’t read them before handing them out. It appears that “Singapore math” is the program used by the charter school in question here, so maybe the teacher Googled that phrase and this is what came up? I have no idea. I also don’t know why homeschoolers would allow these types of questions, since so many homeschoolers are religious. The teacher who assigned these problems is also reportedly a preacher. I can’t figure this one out. But I definitely never want to see a fire ant as long as I live.

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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