Every month my husband and his friends get together for a “guys’ night,” and I’ve got to be honest with you: each month I find myself having mixed emotions regarding his excitement as well as commitment to this time with his friends. Regardless, he and the guys plan an outing and get together every 30 days while us wives stay at home caring for our children.
Part of me is happy for him. He loves being with his friends and often comes home in a great mood. (Plus he always stops and grabs me a treat on the way home.) But the other part of me is annoyed, as we seem to differ on what is a reasonable time for him to return home, and I also get slightly jealous. It’s not his fault; I wish my friends and I were better about pulling ourselves away at least for a little bit and scheduling time to get together.
I wish my husband was just as excited to spend time with me as he is to hang out with his friends.
However, instead of stewing on the matter, I asked several of my male friends — and my husband — why they felt they “needed” to have guys’ night out and why “family time” or “couples time” didn’t get them as excited as guys’ night did. And while several of the men requested I did not reveal their identities, they were all quite candid in their responses.
1. “Guys need time to just be guys.”
According to the fellas I spoke with, guys want to be able to be their complete selves, and they cannot do that around when women are around, especially their wives. Because when women are around they have to think before speaking because they “don’t want to get in trouble” or “start anything.”
2. “Time to get away from being conservative husbands/father and to just be men.”
They want to hang out minus the “filters.” They don’t want to do anything to compromise their marriages, but they do want to be able to relax for a little while and not have to worry about their spouse or their children.
3. “Because we need to be around some testosterone.”
The men I spoke with expressed that women are too sensitive and they often feel they have to “hold back.” In fact, as one man stated: “In your cases, truth does not set you free.” Instead, many men feel that telling women the truth about how they feel will often result in anger, resentment, or backlash.
4. “We just need to get away like the airline commercial.”
Sometimes we all just need a break, and men are no different. They work all week, deal with difficult people outside of the home, and then come home and “have to deal with” their children and their wives’ emotions, which the men I spoke with described “change like the weather.”
5. “We compromise so much so that you are happy (happy wife, happy life).”
…and apparently, “guys’ night” gives them this happiness.
6. “It’s also about brotherhood.”
For many men, their friends are like family. Hanging out is important to them, and therefore they make it a priority even if it is just getting together one day here and there.
What are your thoughts ladies? Does your significant other go out with friends and leave you behind?
And a special thanks to Aaron, Michael, and the rest of you guys, who shall remain nameless, who shared your perspective on guys’ night.