It’s no secret that at six weeks postpartum I’m still not quite feeling like I’m ready to do the deed. If you have a little one of your own at home chances are you might not be ready either and that’s ok. Based on the candid and honest responses from readers who shared their own stories and offered a little of their advice on my postpartum post, it turns out, I’m actually quite normal which means if you are feeling anything like I am you are too. So relax, give yourself a break, and remind your lover that patience is a virtue. Check out six signs that you may not be quite ready to have sex post pregnancy after the jump.
You tell your spouse not to kiss you or touch your butt in front of the baby because she can see them. 1 of 6Babies probably aren't taking mental notes of your love life at this point plus they are too young to say "Ewww" when you and your spouse do engage in a little PDA. But don't worry, the ewwws will come. Keep in mind, as your little one gets older, that our children often look to us parents for insight as to what is and isn't appropriate behavior. Amy McCready, of
TODAYMoms and the founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, suggests showing a little affection in front of the children as it helps them to get an idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. Seeing their parent's love and respect for each other also makes them feel a little more secure. Save the sexual behavior; however, for closed doors. McCready notes that children take their "relationship cues" from us parents; therefore, we shouldn't be doing anything we wouldn't want to see them do with someone they are dating.
So lean over and give your lover a kiss, rub their back. If there is a new baby in the home, it is likely you haven't done that since their arrival but do save the groping for later.
You complain that its hot but you insist on going to bed in layers. 2 of 6"It's not you. It's me." Really, it's me. For several days after pregnancy I would go to bed with the air conditioner blasting because I would find myself waking up with night sweats. Yet prior to waking up all hot and sweaty I was freezing because the air was on. My solution was to sleep in layers so that I could make adjustments throughout the night as my comfort level changed.
You keep telling your spouse about how uncomfortable your hemorrhoids are or how your bleeding still hasnt stopped. 3 of 6Hemorrhoids are uncomfortable. According to the
Mayo Clinic soaking in a tub, using witch hazel pads or topical medication can provide some relief. Also making changes in your diet and taking a stool softener (with your doctor's recommendation of course) may help. As for the bleeding, which can last for a few weeks, it will eventually subside.
You havent showered and when your spouse offers to take care of the baby so you can, you decline. 4 of 6You instead; however, hand over the baby so you can take a nap because you did not sleep while the baby sleeps despite everyone telling you that you should. If you're anything like I am you aren't sleeping when the baby sleeps because that's when you're eating, doing laundry, washing dishes, obsessing over how difficult it is going to be to return to work or addressing birth announcement envelopes.
Side note if your husband is suggesting you shower you probably don't need to lean in close and ask, "Do I smell?" Unless of course, you're not quite ready for some close contact in the bedroom because it's very likely he'll change his mind, for the time being anyway.
You don’t want them to see you in your birthday suit. 5 of 6It's a little wrinkly and stretched out. I get it. Not long after being home from the hospital after giving birth my older daughter got a glimpse of my post baby body. "You still look like you have a baby in your tummy", she proclaimed. She was probably saying what was on everyone's mind, everyone who never gave birth or lived with someone who just had a baby. "I know", I replied, advising her that it would take time for my stomach to get smaller.
As noted in an article by
What to Expect, it is estimated that the process of the uterus shrinking can take anywhere from four to six weeks after giving birth not to mention your body has lots of fluids that it has to get rid of. Having been pregnant before I know it takes time. I also know that my body just did something amazing; it carried and gave birth to a baby my baby and I should give myself a little credit for that. Even so, I'm feeling a little self-conscious these days and don't want anyone staring at the remnants of the 39 weeks I was pregnant, not even my husband.
Once your doctor gives you the ok it is fine to start exercising but for some of us it can be difficult to find the time (and even the willpower) to do so. Eating healthy snacks and implementing portion control can help but right now if I want a cookie you can rest assure I am going to eat a cookie.
It took months to gain all that baby weight and the reality for many of us, especially those of us without personal trainers and chefs, is that it is going to take some time to lose it.
You reach in the bassinet and pick up the baby as soon as your spouse is coming to bed. 6 of 6Maybe you sense the baby is hungry or you just want to get better acquainted with your tiny cuter roommate. After all, he or she is in your bedroom for a good reason. According to the
American Academy of Pediatrics, the safest place for your baby to sleep is in your bedroom. It is recommend that your little one sleep in a crib or bassinet in close proximity to your own bed making it easier for you to breastfeed and bond with your baby.
Photo source: iStockPhoto
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