C-Section or Natural Birth? One Calif. School District Wants to Know How You Delivered

If this is how you gave birth, be prepared to confess it to one school district in Calif.

When you enroll your child for school, you probably won’t be surprised if officials want to know if your child has been vaccinated or is on any medication — those are pretty standard questions.

However, when enrolling your child for school in the Dry Creek School District in Roseville, Calif., you’ll probably be surprised when officials ask if your child was delivered naturally or by c-section.

If your answer is c-section, the application then asks, “Why?”

I wonder if an appropriate answer could either be (a) None of your business, or (b) Because I was too lazy to do it naturally.

Just curious.

So are the parents of incoming students, who call the question an invasion of privacy and have tried to get school officials to explain the rationale behind it for the past two weeks, but have been met instead with radio silence.

More babies are born by Cesarean deliveries now than ever before, and numerous studies have found there’s no link between children’s intelligence and the method in which they were born, so presumably that can’t be the reason.

So since the school district has yet to give an answer as to why they want to know, I’ve come up with the top three reasons why I think it matters to them:

1) If you gave birth via c-section, you probably don’t have a high tolerance for pain and therefore your child will be placed in the class of the kindergarten teacher who won’t talk to the parents in the same voice as the children. As we all know, an adult who uses a baby voice can be excruciating and the last thing the school needs is a parent meltdown during a conference with a teacher.

2) If you gave birth via c-section, you are clearly not averse to mind-altering substances since you necessarily had an epidural before the procedure was performed, so the school district will monitor your child more closely for signs of addiction (after all, like parent, like child, right?). It’s the new wave of being proactive in the war against drugs.

3) If you gave birth via c-section, you either think you are too good to push or there is something wrong with your body. Either way your child’s teacher will use you as an example to the class of how to handle diversity.

Why do you think the Dry Creek School District would want to know how your child was delivered?

Image: Wikipedia

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