Chocolate Toothpaste?! What’s Next, Cookie Dough-Flavored Green Beans?

I’m all for innovations that help make parenting easier.

LeapPad computers for kids? Got one!

DVD player in the car? Check!

But there’s something about Crest’s new toothpaste flavors that reeks of American stupidity. As Yahoo notes, in a recent conference call with investors and analysts, Procter and Gamble touted a new line of Crest toothpaste hitting stores this week featuring flavors like “Mint Chocolate Trek,” “Lime Spearmint Zest,” and “Vanilla Mint Spark.” The Crest marketing team describes the new paste as “a whole new world of deliciousness for toothbrushes everywhere.”

Hardly a revelation in oral hygiene. Doesn’t brushing your teeth with chocolate toothpaste seem like the antithesis of cleaning them? Is Crest marketing their new flavors specifically to kids? I’m not sure, but if you’ve ever run out of your own toothpaste and had to use your kid’s bubble gum Spongebob flavor, you know flavored toothpastes are no dental adventure for adults. So naturally I can only imagine Crest is trying to lure in the under-twelve crowd.

Is giving your kid chocolate toothpaste a worthy trade-off for eliminating teeth brushing hassle? It sounds like one big mixed message, to me. After all, how are we supposed to teach our kids that chocolate is bad for their teeth when we’re telling them to brush with it? Seriously, what’s next? Cookie dough-flavored green beans?

Calm down, America. Not everything has to be a frenzy of pleasure for your senses.

But maybe I’m old-fashioned in my desire for a minty fresh mouth after a vigorous teeth-brushing session. But would you buy chocolate toothpaste if it got your kid brushing his choppers after the first request?

Image: crest.com

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