Nope, Sorry. I Can’t Get On-Board with the Duggars’ Extreme “Rules of Courtship”Monica Bielanko
I noticed the Duggars were trending today and couldn’t help myself. I had to click over to see what tasty morsel America’s most famous enormous family is serving up to the media this time.
Brace yourselves, this one’s a doozy, folks.
TODAY Moms posted an article called The Duggars’ 7 Rules of Courtship, which I quickly scanned. It says stuff like “Courting is Dating With a Purpose” and “There’s Always A Chaperone” and “No Kissing or Hand-Holding,” and then I read one about how mom and dad Duggar only allow their daughters to text boyfriends if they’re included on every text:
“It’s neat to see their conversations,” says Jim Bob, adding that the couple texts about everything from scripture to their future as a family and ideas on parenting. For the most part, Jim Bob and Michelle don’t chime in. But occasionally they do. Jim Bob describes a text where Jessa was asking Ben to call her on the phone and wrote: “Give me a ring when you get time.” At that point, dad texted back: “No rings yet.” (Jim Bob says he added a smiley face at the end.)
This totally blew my mind, but then I thought about it and figured that sexting is rampant in junior high and high school these days and maybe the Duggars are onto something. It’s definitely a little extreme and a lot creepy to only be able to group text your boyfriend with your parents, but okay. And then I realized I didn’t catch the ages of the two daughters, Jill and Jessa, being referenced in the article. I scanned backwards to find out, thinking we’re talking about 16 and 17-year-old girls and guess what? Jessa is 20 and Jill is 22.
Who can’t hold hands or text their boyfriends privately.
How is this a positive thing? I really want someone to let me know. Because these are couples who are told they can’t date casually, that courting is dating with a purpose. If you’re only allowed to date with marriage in mind, is it really all that awful to hold hands and exchange private text messages? I’d say that’s paramount to courting, no?
I was raised Mormon, I understand no dating until 16 and I can even kind of wrap my brain around no sex until marriage even though it isn’t something I subscribe to nor would I encourage any child of mine to take that route. By all means, wait until you’re an adult to have sex — but after that? Ain’t no shame baby, do your thang. But no hand-holding? And how creepy is it that Jim Bob jumps in on the texts? At some point you have to trust your children and let them know you trust them to uphold the values and morals you instilled in them.
I mean, seriously, yo! That’s some hardcore shiz. Although, in all fairness to the Duggars, I told my husband about their rules and he said he’s got something similar in mind for when our daughter starts “courting.”
Ha. As for me, I want no part of group texting with any of my children and their significant others.
Tell me, is this positive parenting or parenting gone wrong? Hit me up in the comments below!
Read more from Monica on Babble:
- Girl Sues Parents to Pay for College
- Jail Denies Mom’s Request to Pump Breast Milk (And I Don’t Blame Them)
- 2-Year-Old Suspended From Daycare Over Cheese Sandwich
- Your Twenties are NOT Your Best Years As a Woman