Germans Invent a Cuddle Spray

German scientists have come up with a formula to get touch-deprived moms the kind of action they really want.

Cuddle spray!

The makers promise that just a puff or two of the stuff will make even the most insensitive oaf skootch in for a snuggle. (Actually, they say “a puff or two of the ‘cuddle chemical’ will make even the most masculine of men as sensitive as a woman,” but, as a not-so-cuddly woman, I didn’t want to perpetuate that inanity. Forgive me.)

The “cuddle chemical” is largely based on oxytocin, that mother of all hormones that not only surges during sex but also promotes bonding between mother and baby.

It’s also what triggers the production of breastmilk, so good luck with the leaky nipples, Capt. Snuggles. Also, researchers warn that the spray should be kept away from pregnant women, lest a birth be induced.

Here’s how the scientists confirmed that “the chemical in its spray form makes a man as empathetic as a woman”:

Two groups, each with 24 men. Only one group’s noses get squirted. Everyone is shown pictures of a little girl crying, a child holding a cat and a man in mourning (as a woman, I’m tearing up just thinking about it!).  The sprayed noses showed a higher level of empathy on a written test.

Awwww. I sure could use a hug. Anyone?

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