Hey Parents! No Need To Worry About Screaming Kids On The Plane When There's This

image:  Jill TarlowI cheered when I read Monica Bielanko’s article basically telling “urban hipster doofuses” to get over themselves and stop whining about the baby on their flight that might (ohmygosh) act like a baby and cry. She goes on to explain that the parents of that baby are far more stressed than anyone else on that flight.

Well, parents on a recent U.S. Airways flight from Ft. Lauderdale to Phoenix didn’t have to worry about calming their crying children. No one on that flight would’ve noticed any unruly kids because they were too busy staring at this guy.

An elderly man, dressed in a spicy little number consisting of woman’s underwear with thigh high stockings and heels was allowed to fly. I mean, I can see if he was wearing a tasteful pink chiffon evening gown, but a bikini-like outfit? Apparently U.S. Airways’ dresscode only states that a passenger cannot be inappropriately clothed. As long as a passenger’s private parts aren’t exposed, they’re allowed to fly. Really? That’s it? It’s fine to fly in underwear? That leaves a whole lot of room for “interesting” ensembles.

Not only does U.S. Airways’ lack of a dress code open the door to highly inappropriate attire, but it also leaves the question of what exactly constitutes “inappropriately clothed” to the discretion of the crew on any given flight which would explain why on June 16, athlete Deshon Marman was removed from the plane and arrested when he failed to pull up his baggy pants. Let’s recap, shall we? Wearing only underwear – fine. Having your underwear show out the top of your pants – no way. After the picture of the cross dressing gramps surfaced, discussions of racial profiling ensued. I don’t personally think U.S. Airway’s decisions were a race thing; I think they were a stupid thing. Marman should have been allowed to fly.

In fact, as a parent who stresses out that her children’s behavior might get out of control on a plane, I think anyone with questionable attire should be allowed to fly! The stranger the outfit, the better! I wouldn’t have to worry about a baby crying because her ears hurt upon take-off if I had a 400 man wearing nothing but a Speedo and smile sitting across the aisle. If my kids started fighting over something important like a green crayon, I wouldn’t have to threaten to make them ride on the wing of the plane as long as a Lady Gaga look-alike was seated nearby because no one would notice my fighting children; they’d be too busy staring at the passenger.

No longer would parents have to pack snacks, DVDs, games, and coloring books to make sure every minute of their child’s flight with filled with quiet amusement. Instead, if the kids start getting a little twitchy, Mom can just strip down to her undies to draw attention away from junior. It’s brilliant! I should have thought of this years ago!

We parents worry so much about disrupting someone else’s flight even though we have precious little control if our baby cries or our young child gets tired and cranky. But I’m telling you, I’d rather share a flight with 100 noisy kids than with one adult who is rude, belligerent, or has so little concern for anyone else that he’d wear nothing but woman’s underwear. What do you think? Should this guy have been allowed to fly cross country in this attire (or lack thereof)? How would you explain this guy’s outfit to your young children sitting across the aisle from him? What about the football player who was removed from the plane for wearing pants below his waist?

image: Jill Tarlow

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