Remember that one time when I wrote about annoying things husbands do? For their sake I limited it to 10 but the fact that I was so easily able to come up with that many should tell you something — men are annoying. If you ask them I am quite sure they would say that we are equally annoying. Ok, maybe they may not say it, just in case we are listening, but the eye rolls tend to be a dead giveaway.
While it was great to see that lots of women had husbands who annoyed them (as a reminder that we are not alone), sadly I was not able to arm you with a solution as to how you could deal with Mr. Handsome. Although our love for our spouse is not based on how much they get on our nerves, the reality is some things are hard to ignore. Most often we can close our eyes, make a wish, count to 10 or do whatever it is we do, only to see that the man we married is still the same man he was 10 seconds ago and those crumbs? Yup, they’re still on the counter too.
Since the weekend is upon us that means most of us will be having some extra time with our spouses and because the last thing I want is for you to be asking is it Monday yet, I wanted to let you know that there is a solution. Yes, there is a way to deal with your spouse’s annoying habits, traits, behaviors (whatever you call them they are still annoying).
According to Ashley Seeger, an Expert, over at Your Tango the trick is to fall in love with the behavior. What? Are you serious?! I am. Actually Ashley Seeger is serious and she raises some excellent points. Instead of broken promises in which you and your spouse (because he’s not rolling his eyes for nothing) promise to change or don’t change and end up fighting or nagging or you can “make room for it in your marriage.”
“You could spend the next five to 50 years shaming, raging or belittling your spouse, or you could find a way to accept this unacceptable trait.”
Seeger points out that sometimes our responses to the behavior can actually do more damage to our relationships than the actual behavior. Another excellent point she makes is that:
“When confronted with anger, disappointment and frustration, we tend to dig in our heels and resist change. But when we are given love and acceptance, it frees us up to explore other ways of being.”
So, instead of being so focused on the behavior perhaps there is a way to come to terms with the fact that crumbs and airborne babies will be a part of your life (I am talking myself through this also by the way) until they — the babies — are too big to fly. Because the other option is to allow them — those lovely habits, to come in between you and life can be challenging enough as it is without being at odds over the fact that he forgot to pick up the laundry detergent again. You made room in your life and your heart for him, all of him, annoying habits and all. And since he’s still around, it’s pretty likely he’s doing something right. For more on how to tolerate your husband’s annoying behavior visit Your Tango.
How do you deal with your spouse’s annoying habits?