Men and Women Disagree About What Constitutes CheatingCarolyn Castiglia
YourTango reports that a recent survey of over 2,700 singles across the U.S. by Christian Mingle and JDate “found that men and women are definitely not on the same page when it comes to what’s cheating and what’s not.” They add, “Not only did gender play a large roll, but so did religion.”
Interestingly, “100% of the women surveyed thought kissing is cheating,” but “only 86% of men believed the same.” I’m shocked that 100% of women surveyed thought kissing is cheating. I mean, it depends on the context, of course, and the type of kiss. I can see why women might think a man kissing another woman is cheating, but what about a woman kissing another woman? That’s the “drunk straight girl” move of the century to make Friday nights fun, no? I guess I wonder if these women think kissing is a forgivable offense.
82% of women polled “believe texting or online flirting counts as infidelity, and 56% of men felt the same way,” according to YourTango. I honestly think an emotional affair can be more devastating to a relationship than a physical one – but again, every incidence and type of cheating is packaged in its own context. The people polled aren’t up for much subtlety when it comes to this stuff, though: results show 44% of men “consider watching porn cheating, 30% feel that if you touch yourself you’re cheating, and 43% think that if you’re going to strip club with your friends after work, then you’re definitely cheating.” Wouldn’t it be interesting if all men felt that way?! Not that a little masturbation isn’t healthy, but the porn guys, come on — it can be a bit much.
I’ve never cheated on a partner and I can’t imagine ever doing so, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been cheated on, at least emotionally. Monogamy can be difficult, I suppose, which is why couples need to come up with clear behavioral rules that they stick by throughout the course of their relationship. For example, I think most people would admit that a little friendly flirting of an innocent nature can go a long way to help married people continue to feel like they’ve got it after years of being together. But if it’s hurting your partner’s feelings to watch you make other people smile, then you’ve got to recalibrate your system.
What do you consider cheating?
Photo credit: iStock