More Mortifying Stories of Embarrassing Kids

They smell fear.
They smell fear.

“I have three grown children who have embarrassed me many times. The most memorable was my son when he was 5 years old. He fell straddle on a steamer trunk (the metal kind) and sustained an injury to his penis. When the swelling went down, the doctors felt he needed a partial circumcision. At the grocery store about four days later, a little old lady came up to us in the produce aisle commenting on how cute my son and newborn daughter were and my son says, “I have an owie on my horsie, want to see?” At this point, he had begun calling his penis a horse, no idea where he got that from! Anyway, he proceeded to whip down his pants to show her.”

“We were on line at Costco, waiting forever to get checked out when my 3-year-old daughter (with horror in her eyes) shouted, “MOM, look at that scary man!” So I turn around…and it was an extremely unattractive LADY! I didn’t know where to go, because I was surrounded by people and it’s not easy moving around once you are on line. Meanwhile, my daughter didn’t stop — “MOMMY, it’s not Halloween, why is that man so scary!?” The woman was shocked. I finally shut my daughter up by opening an unpaid-for bag of chips, which she started munching on.”

“My son told his teachers at school: 1) that we don’t feed him; he is only allowed to eat the food at school. 2) That we have no money, and we are selling him to Egypt. 3) That he had five older brothers and sisters, but that his mother didn’t want them anymore — only him — so I killed the others and buried them in the backyard.

Thankfully, my son’s school realizes that my son is constantly seeking attention and didn’t report me to DCF. However, they would send letters home every day with the latest and greatest stories he told!”

Whoa, that kid’s a dick!

More Stories Back in Part I

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