Separate Bedrooms: Saving a Marriage or Indicative of Trouble?

Way back in 2005 in our Brooklyn digs.

Initially it was with great embarrassment that I wrote about my husband and my sleeping difficulties on my blog.

“Sleeping difficulties” is putting it gently.  If I may be so bold, we are completely incompatible in the bedroom and it ain’t sex I’m talking about.

Turns out, we aren’t alone.  As the NY Times reported as far back as 2007, “Not since the Victorian age of starched sheets and starchy manners, builders and architects say, have there been so many orders for separate bedrooms. Or separate sleeping nooks. Or his-and-her wings.”

In fact, in a survey by the National Association of Home Builders around the same time period, builders and architects predicted that more than 60 percent of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015.

Sounds good to me!

This week over on our Babble Voices column He Said/She Said, my husband I are sharing our sleeping difficulties via video.  In No Sleep Since Brooklyn we discuss how my need for the TV and Serge’s must-have box fan, trying to go to sleep in our bedroom is akin to unrolling your sleeping bag in Times Square:

And for Monica and I it often seems as if sleeping in the same room with each other is some ridiculous social experiment with no payoff; it’s like some insane test to see how to squeeze out a just a few more hours of time together, as if time spent passed out side by side might allow for the ties that bind to grow and evolve.

The longer I’m married, the more I realize that being married is a lot like raising kids. If you try and do everything according to all the unsolicited horsecrap other people are constantly hurling at you, you end up making yourself nuts. Good parents realize pretty early on that they are going to need to improvise and bend the rules according to their own guts.

I’m starting to view marriage that way, too.

Click here to watch the video of us sharing our take on sleeping in separate bedrooms and tell me which side of the fence you sleep on.

You can also find Monica on her personal blog, The Girl Who.

Read more from Monica on Strollerderby:

A Dad Reacts to His 7-year-old Son Coming Out Gay

Precocious Puberty: Girls Developing Earlier Than Ever and Nobody Knows Why

Couple Stuck with Million Dollar Hospital Bill After Their Daughter was Born

Article Posted 4 years Ago

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