18 Sexy Pearls of Twitter Wisdom From Dr. Ruth

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Call me crazy, but there’s something endlessly fascinating about getting sex advice from a feisty 84-year-old woman. I’m not talking about just any woman (no offense grandma); I’m talking about none other than the pint-sized powerhouse of sexual candor, Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Dr. Ruth began her career as an educator for Planned Parenthood and parlayed her signature frank talk about human sexuality into a wildly successful career as a sex therapist, radio/TV personality, author, and cultural phenomenon.

Once quoted as saying, “I want people to be sexually active until the age of 99,” Dr. Ruth serves as a shining example that good sex is the key to a long and happy life. But she isn’t stopping there; this spirited grandma is dishing up pearls of sexual wisdom on Twitter as only our beloved Dr. Ruth could.

Just as Dr. Ruth packs a big personality into her petite 4′ 7″ frame, she packs a whole lot of sexual wisdom into 140 characters or less. Check out our favorite Dr. Ruth tweets after the jump!

  • That new car sex 1 of 18
    That new car sex
    "When buying a new car do you consider whether would be good for having sex? You should. Even married couples looking for variety."

    Friends, it seems we've been doing car buying all wrong.
  • Patriotic penes 2 of 18
    Patriotic penes
    "Guys want to surprise your gal this 4th? Paint your weiner red, white and blue!"

    Is that a Bomb Pop in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
  • Nut job 3 of 18
    Nut job
    "Men, want better nuts? Eat walnuts. Walnuts = better nuts."

    Get crackin', boys.
  • 2 Ball Bada Bing 4 of 18
    2 Ball Bada Bing
    "In Olympics it's called table tennis. In your basement, ping pong. In bed, 2 ball bada bing!" the game of sexual olympics, Dr. Ruth scores gold.
  • Bug off! 5 of 18
    Bug off!
    "If you're afraid of West Nile and use a lot of repellent, shower before sex. Don't want lover licking or kissing toxic skin"

    Awesome PSA; wouldn't have thought of it.
  • Mars madness 6 of 18
    Mars madness
    "About 1 AM Mon NASA craft lands on Mars. To mark this historic occasion I suggest you land on your partner right about then."

    Dr. Ruth gives new meaning to the term "space exploration".
  • Permission to moan, sir? 7 of 18
    Permission to moan, sir?
    "Loud can be good but some people find too much noise distraction so they can't have an orgasm. Partners have to ask each other."

    Quiet, you're distracting me.
  • Shark Week 8 of 18
    Shark Week
    "It appears that Shark Week is finally over. Gentlemen it is once again safe to drop trou in front of the TV."

    Apparently it's safe to go back in the water.
  • Huh? 9 of 18
    "To save chocolate reduce energy use by turning off lights & having sex. You might find 'green' sex isn't so bad."

    Wait, chocolate is to "green" sex as Twitter is to...orgasm?
  • Bed dread 10 of 18
    Bed dread
    "Uh oh, IKEA is going into the hotel business. By the time you build your bed there'll be no time for sex!"

    Gah, I hate when that happens!
  • Rain sex 11 of 18
    Rain sex
    "To relieve the nation's drought everybody engage in some Rain Sex this wknd. Put "war paint" on privates & whoop it up!"

    Yes, this 84-year-old woman is more hip to sex than you are.
  • Sex 101 12 of 18
    Sex 101
    "Back to school sales should get you thinking if your sex IQ is high enough. Do you know what your partner likes best?"

    For Dr. Ruth back-to-school means back-to-sex.
  • A sexy study 13 of 18
    A sexy study
    "UCLA study found sacrificing sleep for study doesn't work. Any studies done on sacrificing studies for sex?"

    Sacrificing studies for sex is the college way.
  • Back-to-school vibrators 14 of 18
    Back-to-school vibrators
    "I'm all for vibrators but getting emails touting back to school vibrators seems a bit much to me."

    Just imagine the press releases this woman gets!
  • Over the hill at 29 15 of 18
    Over the hill at 29
    "Brit study says women feel sexiest at 28. Tell that to a horny American 18 year old female"

    Dr. Ruth's referring to a a survey we told you about here on Babble that suggested a woman's sex life crashes at 29. We don't buy it.
  • Lay and get laid 16 of 18
    Lay and get laid
    "Sleeping on stomach leads to more sex dreams. Laying down on back leads to more sex!"

    Long live Dr. Ruth, our beloved bedroom Yoda.
  • Lucky in love 17 of 18
    Lucky in love
    "Today's Fri the 13th. Don't go under any ladders. Dive under sheets w/partner instead!"

    Dr. Ruth wants you to make Friday the 13th your "lucky" day.
  • Nature lover lovers 18 of 18
    Nature lover lovers
    "There are mosquitoes testing positive for West Nile Virus. Maybe safer to stay indoors having sex, no?"

    Yes, West Nile is the reason I'll be having sex indoors this evening.

Love Dr. Ruth on Twitter? Of course you do. Follow her on Twitter by clicking here. For even more Dr. Ruth sweet tweets on improving your sex life, visit BuzzFeed.

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