A Newbie Mom’s Guide to Other MothersRebecca Odes
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Here at Babble, were well aware that there are as many kinds of mothers as there are women in the world. Were also aware that stereotypes exist for a reason: to help us laugh at other people. With that in mind (and our tongues in our cheeks), we offer this little field guide to common mom specimens you might run into on the playground of parenting life.
What's your mom type? Go to the last slide and take our quiz!
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Spawned on anonymous internet message boards, the Sanctimommy thinks shes got it all figured out — and shes pretty sure you dont. Whatever her parenting beliefs and behaviors may be, theyre better than yours, and shes sure to let you know it. Steer clear if youre feeling thin-skinned.
5 ways to tell if youre a sanctimommy »
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2: Tiger Mom
To the Tiger Mom, childhood is about work now, play later. She takes her kids futures seriously and wont let anything get in the way. Her kids are definitely going to be more successful than yours. If the Tiger Moms kids are busy working, she could be a good option for socializing ... as long as you dont mind the sound of the whip cracking in the background.
Battle hymn of the tiger mother: Is it a battle you need to fight? »
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3: Power Mom
Power Moms into success, too — her own. If you see her around, shes likely to be dashing in and out on her way to something much more important than the likes of you. Is she proud about her Very Important Position or does she wish she could just chill out with the coffee moms after drop off? Probably both. Dont be offended if she breaks plans; its not personal.
The billionaire moms club »
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4: Slacker Mom
When it comes to success, Slacker Mom couldnt care less. Shes all about the path of least resistance. Rules, shmules. If the kid wants cake, let her eat cake. Bedtime? Whenever. Kids are smart. It all comes out in the wash. Pass the wine. Shes a great one to have around on those days when youre
beating yourself up.
Slacker moms urge other mothers to chill »
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5: Earth Mama
Maybe giving birth put her in touch with her inner natural woman, or maybe shes been wearing patchouli since college. Either way, the Earth Mama can be found in close physical contact with her children. Shes your best friend when you need advice about breastfeeding or baby-wearing, but maybe not if you find yourself on the wrong side of the vaccine debate.
Are natural birthing supermodels Miranda Kerr & Gisele Bündchen inspiring or smug? »
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6: Perfect Mom
Grumbling about sleep deprivation? The Perfect Moms babys already slept through the night! Worried about preschools? The Perfect Mom applied before her baby was born! This mom makes it all look so easy. Never frazzled, never ruffled, she seems to take all of motherhoods challenges in stride. Just dont let her make you feel like a mess in comparison.
Meet the sanctimommy and other moms youll wish you never knew »
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7: Glamour Mom
You know that mom who looks like shes late for lunch with Victoria Beckham? Thats the Glamour Mom. Shell be damned if shes going to let motherhood ruin her manicure. And if it does, shell just get another one. The Glamour Mom is out to prove that shes as hot now as she was before she had kids, and shell do whatever it takes to make sure everyone knows it. Especially at 7:30 when the rest of the moms are in yoga pants. Prepare to be upstaged.
Rachel Zoe and Victoria Beckham pregnant in ridiculous stilettoes »
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8: Shlumpy Mom
Motherhood aint easy, and this mom wears that on her spit-up-covered sleeve. But there might be a little bit of pride in her disheveled demeanor. Who has time to devote to superficial personal grooming concerns when youre so busy attending to your little ones every need? The Shlumpy Mom may look like shes barely holding it together, but she may just think shes putting her energy where it really counts. And she probably is ... but thats not a knock on your new 'do.
School calls out moms who drop off in pjs »
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9: Big Kid Mom
When families get together, all the moms are catching up in the corner ... except this mom. Shes organizing a game of red rover or rolling around on the ground wrestling with a gaggle of toddlers. Is she connecting with her inner child or just avoiding talking to the grownups? Bonding will require a willingness to get down to her level.
Should parents grow up? »
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10: Too Cool for School Mom
Shes by herself at the playground, but your attempts to chat her up fall flat. When you call her for a play date, you never hear back. She does drop-off in sunglasses and sashays through the halls without returning a single wave. Is she just shy or does she hate you? You may never know.
How to find mom friends »
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11: Stage Mom
When the Stage Mom is not tooting her childs horn, you may catch her coaching her child from the sidelines, whether or not there seems to be an actual show going on. To this mom and her little shining star, all the worlds a stage (or a reality show). If youre within earshot, youd better be applauding.
I pimped out my baby »
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