Stomach Bug or Baby? Take the Quiz!

A Connecticut woman who believed she’d caught a stomach bug was shocked to discover that those sharp abdominal aches were actually labor pains. Jennifer Scolin didn’t know she was pregnant, but this past Saturday, she gave birth to her second child — a 9-pounder named Cole, the Connecticut Post reports.

It’s by all accounts, a happy development since babies are generally more pleasant than prolonged bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. In fact, I’d say that all-too-common baby vomit and diarrhea are still preferable to grown-up versions of the same.

That said, for the benefit of any slightly confused, possibly-pregnant-or-maybe-it-was-a-bad-burrito ladies out there, I’d like to offer up this handy quiz.*

1. There’s an empty room in your house. Do you:

A. Have the sudden urge to decorate it with alphabet letter decals and happy clouds?

B. Throw up in it?

C. Decorate it and then throw up in that one corner where you didn’t paste decals and clouds?

2. When you look down, can you see your feet?

A. No

B. Yes

C. Looking down makes you dizzy, so you’re not even going to bother checking.

3. What do you crave?

A. Pickles dipped in peanut butter.

B. Pepto Bismol.

C. Pickle, peanut butter and Pepto soup.

4. When your friends throw you a party, it’s:

A. A baby shower.

B. A cracker and ginger ale-palooza!

C. Going to have to happen in your bathroom, because that’s where you’re at. Always.

5. You’re at the hospital. Your doctors say:

A. “Congratulations!”

B. “I’m going to prescribe you a hefty dose of Zofran.”

C. “Congratulations! Also, I’m going to prescribe you a hefty dose of Zofran.”


If you answered with mostly A’s, get ready, Mama, because you’re probably bringing home a little bundle of joy whose cute little spit-up will make a welcome replacement for your not-so-cute morning sickness puke.

If you answered mostly B’s … Welcome to Stomach Bug City, population: You.

And if you answered mostly C’s, well, you’re on your own because I really have no clue. You may have a stomach bug and be pregnant….in which case, best of luck Febreezing your nursery!


*Alice Gomstyn is not a medical professional and this quiz should not be considered a real diagnostic tool. Anyone using this quiz to actually discern whether she’s pregnant should have both her head and her uterus examined.


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