The 7 Most Annoying People You’ll Meet While Voting

The Undecided Voter.

I just voted.

Surprisingly, the experience was pretty excellent.  Empty firehouse, row of sweet, old ladies and nobody else in the building.

Perhaps that’s because I live out in the country, in a tiny village containing less than 100 residents.

But you, you probably had to wait a while. And in the process of waiting you maybe encountered some unsavory individuals hellbent on giving you The Business which includes but isn’t limited to trying to sway your vote or telling you who they’re voting for and then proceeding to laboriously explain to you why their vote is the right vote.

So, if you haven’t yet voted, brace yourselves for the 7 worst people you’ll meet while voting.

  • The Patriot 1 of 7
    The Patriot
    You can spot him by his American flag paraphernalia. He can often be found flirting with The Rules Lady because the fate of America is in their hands. He talks loudly about why Mitt Romney is the best man for the job and winks at you because he knows that you, of course, share his opinion because it's the right one.
  • The Rules Lady 2 of 7
    The Rules Lady
    Don't mess with her, the future of America is riding on her shoulders. Have your ID ready and pretend like you're ordering from "The Soup Nazi" and step along the assembly line or NO VOTE FOR YOU!
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  • The Undecided Voter 3 of 7
    The Undecided Voter
    This guy is worse than The Dumb Ass. He is highly susceptible to The Patriot. Unfortunately as the dudes say, "Realize his vote has as much important as yours and have your day destroyed."
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  • The Chatty Neighbor 4 of 7
    The Chatty Neighbor
    She really is a sweetheart but man can she talk a lot. No amount of pretending to text on your iPhone deters her from telling you all about her voting plans and then her daughter and her daughter's husband, John, who is a really important mucky muck somewhere and nobody knows this but John got a DUI last month and... By the time you vote you know more about her kids and grandkids than you do about the candidates.
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  • The Dumb Ass 5 of 7
    The Dumb Ass
    He isn't even sure if he's in the right location but he wants to vote for Barack Oromney. Does he fill in a bubble, pull a lever? Oh wait, he forgot his ID.
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  • The Elderly Curmudgeon 6 of 7
    The Elderly Curmudgeon
    This guy enjoys listening to The Patriot but is mostly just there for the free doughnuts. And, as the dudes over at say he has nothing better to do. "He's got a hat with his old naval ship name on it and won't stop until he gets your thoughts on the weather or local high school football team."
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  • What Is He Doing In There? 7 of 7
    What Is He Doing In There?
    Tweeting? Checking in on foursquare? Still deciding who to vote for? Masturbating? Any way you look at it, he sucks.
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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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