The Men of Disney: Studs vs. Duds

DISNEY MEN COLLAGEMen are not a complicated breed.

Animated men, even less so.

And since Disney movies are meant to enthrall wide-eyed little viewers with moving stories and wise lessons, their leading men are pretty black and white, good and bad.

But get two sleep-deprived parents chatting over late night drinks once the kids are tucked up snugly in their beds for the night, and a fairy tale throwdown between Disney’s studs and duds becomes the highlight of the evening.

Don’t judge.

We’ve all thought this through at some point.

Who would plan a charming outing?

Who would you take home to mom?

Who would get the post-it note break up?

Who would go down in history as the worst date ever?

We came up with the 10 best vs. the 10 worst.

See what you think of this meaty who’s who of rad and sad.

Looking for a list of Disney ladies? We have you covered with The Women of Disney: Beauties vs. Baddies. Yes, yes, we were up late.

  • BEST: Prince Adam 1 of 20
    BEST: Prince Adam
    The man is a beast. This could translate well to many things. Just saying.
  • BEST: Aladdin 2 of 20
    BEST: Aladdin
    The man has a magic carpet, peoples. And he's basically the male Kate Middleton. Commoner turned royalty.
  • BEST: Captain Jack Sparrow 3 of 20
    BEST: Captain Jack Sparrow
    Rugged, piratey, knows how to buckle and swash, is played by Johnny Depp. COME ON.
  • BEST: Prince Phillip 4 of 20
    BEST: Prince Phillip
    Fights the dragon to get the girl. Gotta love a guy with good old-fashioned values.
  • BEST: Quasimodo 5 of 20
    BEST: Quasimodo
    He may not be much too look at, but his heart is made of pure gold. Foxy.
  • BEST: Captain Shang 6 of 20
    BEST: Captain Shang
    He casts aside convention and eons of tradition to embrace feminism. You go, boy!
  • BEST: Grumpy 7 of 20
    BEST: Grumpy
    He's all bark and no bite. You know he's a softie under all that swagger. Kind of like Prince Harry.
  • BEST: Prince Eric 8 of 20
    BEST: Prince Eric
    Has his own ship, loves dogs, makes flute-playing look cool, and finds a mute, half-clothed girl on the beach and still puts a ring on it.
  • BEST: Flynn Rider 9 of 20
    BEST: Flynn Rider
    Hey girl, I love it when you hit me with that cast iron frying pan. You know that totally works here.
  • BEST: Tarzan 10 of 20
    BEST: Tarzan
    He's an environmentalist, conservationist, and wears a loincloth.
  • WORST: Mad Hatter 11 of 20
    WORST: Mad Hatter
    Wild-eyed, wild-haired, high on hat making, also played by Johnny Depp. But, COME ON.
  • WORST: Prince Charming 12 of 20
    WORST: Prince Charming
    Says you are the love of his life, yet forgets what you look like and has to put a glass slipper on every girl in the kingdom. Hey, if the shoe fits...
  • WORST: Peter Pan 13 of 20
    WORST: Peter Pan
    Ok, this one pains me a little since he was my first crush. But still, the whole I'll-never-grow-up thing long term? Heavy sigh.
  • WORST: Captain Hook 14 of 20
    WORST: Captain Hook
    Sure, he was planking before planking was cool, but beyond that, no one likes a kidnapper.
  • WORST: Prince Naveen 15 of 20
    WORST: Prince Naveen
    Irresponsible and conceited for more than half the movie. It's like Joey from Friends - get there faster!
  • WORST: Sleepy 16 of 20
    WORST: Sleepy
    Narcolepsy has never been a turn on.
  • WORST: Jafar 17 of 20
    WORST: Jafar
    Gollum wannabee. Shudder.
  • WORST: Gaston 18 of 20
    WORST: Gaston
    Pretty sure he's never going to be that into you when there's, well, him.
  • WORST: The Prince 19 of 20
    WORST: The Prince
    Does none of the work but takes all of the credit.
  • WORST: Sydrome 20 of 20
    WORST: Sydrome
    The emotional baggage, the unitard, the Carrot Top coif. No, I can't say any more.

Photo credits (lead and slideshow): Walt Disney Pictures

Photo edits: All me.

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Article Posted 4 years Ago

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