Throwing Around The C-Words of Motherhood

working mom, stay at home mom
How many of us are really engaged in the mommy wars?

Moms versus moms. So tiring. So tiring I hardly want to write about it. Not tiring for television talk show producers though. Oh no! They rub their hands together in glee anytime they think they can produce an on-air cat fight.

I wonder if anyone has ever done the research into the demographics of daytime TV talk show producers. Are they in their 20s? Do they have children? Do they harbor grudges against their own mothers? There must be some common characteristic they share that spurs them on to continue to push the “mommy wars” agenda.

Of course, it’s our own fault because we pay attention to these shows and then we talk about them. A lot. Like I’m doing right here, natch.

This week, it was working moms versus stay-at-home moms on Anderson Cooper’s show. One guest had the audacity to call another mother on the show “lazy.”  What?  It really gets my goat when someone makes a snap decision about someone else like that, without any knowledge of what that other person is really like.  

Are there really mommy wars anyway?  Most of the moms I know, whether they are working moms or stay-at-home moms or whatever, don’t war with each other and are pretty open-minded.  They know how tough it is to do this job. They know there isn’t a single right answer to anything.  It’s just like the election politics going on right now that I can hardly stand to listen to any longer. Most Americans are gathered in the big lumpy center, but the news only shows us the extremists on either side.  Most moms aren’t judgmental, but the talk shows make sure you only see guests who are willing to publicly call each other the c-words of motherhood: lazy, selfish, irresponsible, neglectful … bad.

Babble Salon has taken on this topic this week, featuring the opinions of Liz Gumbinner of Mom 101, Alice Bradley of Finslippy, Meagan Francis of The Happiest Mom, Stephanie Wilder-Taylor of Baby on Bored and Kati Granju of Mamapundit.  The central question: Does anybody care whether we work or stay at home?

I’d say some people do care.  They care vehemently and they’re willing to smite those who don’t do things their way and follow their beliefs to the letter. I’m grateful that, though loud and obnoxious, they are in the minority. The rest of us are too busy working to keep our sides of the street clean to be judging anyone else’s.

Photo credit:  fotomaedchen –

Be sure to visit the discussion at the Babble Salon and add your own voice to this topic.

Article Posted 5 years Ago

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