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The worst baby name I’ve ever seen was given to a child in my former school district. Pronounced NAH-sma-king and spelled Nosmoking, it chosen for the first thing the mother saw after giving birth: The no smoking sign on the wall of her hospital room.
Seriously. There’s not even a cute nickname there: Nos? Nossie? Smokie? King?
In their book Bad Baby Names authors Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback pay homage to all the babies destined to be ridiculed on the playground and the parents who name them. Using the U.S. Census Bureau as their guide, they’ve come up with an impressive list of names that should be banned from birth certificates everywhere.
Here are the worst of the worst:
- Gamble Moore
- Doctor Love
- Lust T. Castle
- Mayo Head
- Pickle Parker
- Cherry Grant
- Mike Rotch
- Anita Bath
- Hugh Jass
Compared to these (Hugh Jass … snicker), celebrity baby names like Sparrow, Bronx Mowgli, and Zuma seem positively generic. See the entire list of bad baby names at MSNBC.
What’s the worst baby name you’ve ever seen? And how much power did you give future playground pranks when choosing a name for your baby?