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14 Ninja Skills All Parents Possess

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

People often say that moms are superheroes. I don’t know if I would go that far, though. It’s not as if having a child bestows super powers onto us or the mere fact of becoming a parent makes us better than non-parents. Honestly, most of us are just doing what we need to get through the day and do the best we can by our kids and our families.

So although I’m no supermom, I’ve noticed that I’ve developed a particular set of skills that is silly, strange, and well — unique to parents. I call them my “Mom Ninja Skills.” If you’re a mom or dad, you’ve probably noticed these newly acquired talents, too.

Over the past five years, here are just a few of the previously unnecessary talents I’ve been able to master:

1. The ability to poop with a small child on my lap.

2. The ability to see and then catch a toddler as he falls from a slide, halfway across the playground.

3. The ability to eat cold mac and cheese remnants for lunch and feeling nothing but pride over having less to clean up. No shame here.

4. The ability to listen to “Let it Go” approximately a million and one times and not have my head literally explode.

5. The ability to make scrambled eggs with a baby on my hip and a toddler pulling on my leg, and not burn, scar, or maim any of the involved parties.

6. The ability to step in my child’s vomit at 3am, yet still remember they’re the one who needs comforting.

7. The ability to open a bottle of wine with one hand.

8. The ability to interpret what my toddler is shouting at me from two rooms away, with a mouth full of food.

9. The ability to change the baby without completely waking him up (that one was an especially satisfying one to master).

10. The ability to listen to my son ask for poop for dinner eight days in a row and calmly steer him in another direction.

11. The ability to fall asleep curled up with my son in his toddler bed.

12. The ability to find the remote, turn on Nick Jr. On Demand, and find the right episode of Blue’s Clues while half-asleep.

13. The ability to recognize the smell of my son’s poop while he’s playing with other children, and intervene before things get smellier or messier.

14. The ability to step on a Lego and not curse. (Just kidding — this is one skill that not even a Ninja Mom could ever accomplish.)

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