A few years ago, at my mother-in-law’s surprise birthday party, I was recruited to set up a party game: Make a list of random items, and then have two people scavenger hunt to find them from other party guests.
I had all sorts of ideas: “How about a single sock! Or a rotten piece of food! Or a red broken crayon! A deck of cards! Spiderman! Dirt!”
My college-aged sister-in-laws blankly stared back at me, probably wondering to themselves, Who in the world has these things in their bags?!
I’ll tell you who: Moms. In fact, I’m pretty sure I had all of those items (and then some) in my own bag at the time.
I used to be like my sister-in-laws — able to leave the house with three things: wallet, cell phone, keys. Not the case anymore.
Once you’re a mom, you probably have a pair of child-sized underwear or diapers on you at all times. You might actually be carrying human waste, right in your bag. And if you want to find something truly bizarre in a woman’s purse, just ask the ones with toddlers for a peek inside.
When I was in the toddler stage, I’d pull out my wallet and find a Buzz Lightyear toy grabbing onto the zipper. Or an old baby wipe stuck to the bottom. Or a dirty stick. I’d regularly carry rocks around with me. Why? Because I had a curious little 3-year-old boy who’d stash his “must haves” in my bag when I wasn’t looking.
Even now, with a 6-year-old, I have all sorts of mysterious stowaways stuck in my bag — from Beyblades to, yes, rocks. Still carrying rocks.
And I’m not alone.
Recently, I decided to put some fellow moms to the test, and ask them about the weirdest thing they’ve ever found in their bag. The responses were gold. Booger-crusted, sticker-adorned gold.
- “An old cheese stick.” — Amanda Rodriguez
- “A princess wand and a unicorn.” — Krystyn H.
- “A fishing lure.” — Amanda
- (Amanda’s mom then chimed in with her own answer: A stick of butter that one of her kids had stuck in her purse.)
- “A piece of broken-off cement; half-eaten and/or partially regurgitated food that’s been there for a questionable amount of time; the wrong size diaper. I’ve had two kids in diapers for awhile now, and one time I had a size that didn’t fit either of them. What the heck!” — Vanessa O.
- “A cordless phone … we don’t even own a home phone.” — Tiana A.
- “Tampons covered with dinosaur stickers.” — Victoria Garcia
- “A rotten banana.” — Gloria Malone
- “Leaves, sticks, rocks. I found a dead worm once. Can you tell I have boys at home?” — Anna K.
- “Wooden puzzle pieces and a magic wand.” — Jessica Lemmons
- “A two-day-old cloth diaper.” — Joy D.
- “A single googly eye.” — Tara L.
- “A Miralax single-serve packet in case my kid had trouble pooping on vacation. Because, you know, vacation poop.” — Lori Garcia
- “Acorns and sticks. I have two little boys.” — Jen Rabulan-Bertram
- “Baby enema, funnel, and a creep, miniature porcelain doll. I don’t even know.” — Lauren Hartmann
- “Elsa underwear with smushed up fruit bar all over them.” — Lauren Jimeson
- “A koala finger puppet.” — Alice Gomstyn