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20 Things I’ve Let Slide Because I Didn’t Want to Argue with My Kid

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

The hilarious Louis CK has a bit about arguing with his three-year-old daughter over whether the correct term is “Fig Newton” or “Pig Newton.” If you have a young child, you know this routine only too well. Children say weird, hilarious, ludicrous things and regardless of accuracy, they’ll argue its truth to the end of time.

Reasoning with young children is often futile, which is why I don’t bother at all when my five-year-old says something ridiculous. Nothing I say will convince him and honestly, I just don’t have the energy to fight with him. So when he says something harmless, I just agree. Such as …

1. “The cat thinks we’re all just big cats.”

2. “Shampoo is made out of poo.”

3. “When I grow up, I’m going to be a dog so I can poop outside.”

4. “If you eat too many nuts, you turn into a nut.”

5. “My sandwich is talking to me.”

6. “I’m going to marry Katy Perry when I grow up.”

7. “Daddy says I can ask Grandma for a Freeze Ray for my birthday.”

8. “You’re a garbage can.”

9. “I’m going to have 100 babies when I grow up.”

10. “The Statue of Liberty is made of poo.”

11. “When I grow up I’m going to live in the planetarium.”

12. “You’re an angry bird.”

13. “Katy Perry is the prettiest girl in the world.”

14. “The cat thinks I’m her brother.”

15. “One day on Jupiter is only about 10 Earth hours.” *

16. “Katy Perry is the best singer ever.”

17. “Mars has two moons. One is named Phobos and one is named Deimos.” *

18. “I saw a volcano explode in the backyard!”

19. “I’m the best player ever at Minion Rush.”

20. “I’m going to fly a rocket to school tomorrow.”

*Space statements may actually be correct since he knows more about space than I do.

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