8 Ways Grandparents Spoil Kids—and How to Stop It

Grandparents play a very special role in our kids’ lives, but they’re also famous for overindulging them. This can wreak havoc in our homes after grandma and grandpa leave, but the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are 8 common “grandparent problems” and how you can fix them.

They buy your kids too much stuff 1 of 16
In the eyes of a grandparent a child can never have too many stuffed animals.
Solution: Discuss your child’s needs 2 of 16
You’re not going to stop grandparents from buying their grandkids stuff, but you can influence what they buy. When I mentioned to my mom that my daughter needed shoes for school, she sent her home with a new pair of shoes instead of yet another stuffed animal.
They treat your kids to lots and lots of ice cream 3 of 16
Remember when we had to beg our parents for ice cream? These days they hand it out more than the Good Humor Man!
Fix: Adjust portion size 4 of 16
Instead of telling your parents not to give your kids ice cream (and killing all of their fun), ask them to give your kids smaller portions, or to go out for frozen yogurt instead.
They allow your kids to not eat their meals 5 of 16
This one is especially annoying for those of us who were forced to sit at the table until we’d finished every last bite!
Solution: Lower the bar on what you want at mealtime 6 of 16
Let grandparents know that you don’t expect them to fight with their grandkids about eating vegetables, but that you do expect them to make sure your kids eat something, even if it’s just a fun food like mac and cheese.
They ignore your rules 7 of 16
It’s hard to believe these are the same people who said, “As long as you’re living under my roof you will live by my rules!”
Fix: Remind parents of their own parents 8 of 16
Remind your parents how annoyed they were when your grandparents ignored their rules. This will help them to see the situation through your eyes and hopefully do things differently.
They accept disobedience 9 of 16
When we talked back to our parents as kids there was Hades to pay, but now that they’re grandparents they just pretend it didn’t happen!
Fix: Meet halfway 10 of 16
Grandparents often accept disobedience because they don’t want to be a tough disciplinarian with their grandkids. Let them know that if they don’t want to be tough, a sweetly said, “It’s not OK to talk like that,” will help you a lot more than if they ignore it.
They let your kids watch too much TV 11 of 16
Grandparents will let their grandkids turn into couch potatoes while watching “Small Potatoes!”
Solution: Motivate your kids to go outside 12 of 16
Try sending your kids to your grandparents’ house with outdoor toys, like a new soccer ball or some bubbles. That way when your grandparents ask your kids to go outside and play they’ll be more likely to listen.

They allow them to stay up past their bedtime 13 of 16
Grandparents love to get in as much cuddle time as possible, even if that means letting their grandkids stay up past their bedtime.
Solution: Let them see the aftermath 14 of 16
Communication as always is the first step in fixing these problems. However, if that doesn’t work one trick that a family therapist probably wouldn't recommend is to pick up your kids later than usual after a night with your parents. That way they’ll see first hand how cranky your kids get after a late night!
They don’t back you up against kids 15 of 16
“Come on, dad,” my mom will say after I’ve told my daughter she can’t have ice cream because she acted poorly at dinner. “It’s just a little ice cream!”
Solution: Remind your parents of when you were a kid 16 of 16
Remind your parents of a time when you acted poorly in public and thoroughly upset them. The more you can do to put them in the “parents” mindset instead of “grandparents” mindset, the more likely they will be to back you up.
Article Posted 3 years Ago

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