The Tooth Fairy had one job. You got me? One. Job. It was to pick up a little girl named a little girl named Jennifer’s tooth.
However, she forgot. Twice.
So Jennifer did what most articulate 9-year-olds might do (if they’re as articulate as she is, although that’s doubtful). She put pencil to paper and gave the Tooth Fairy a good, old-fashioned tongue lashing, in a letter that’s since gone viral.
(Not very) Dear T. F.,
This is the second time you’ve done this. You forgot me. So if you’re not going to come, then I’m going to keep my own teeth. You are through collecting teeth. From Jennifer. From now on I’m keeping my own teeth.
Unsincerely, Jennifer E.
P.S. Keep collecting from Mike, though. Obviously you like him better.
P.P.S. Don’t bother to write back.
The letter was actually written in 1991, according to Yahoo Parenting. But its author recently posted it on Reddit, saying, “My dad found the passive aggressive note that I wrote to the tooth fairy.” She shared it online, she said, because “it was better than I remember.”
Jennifer, now a mom of two who lives in Vermont, said she recalls thinking something was suspicious about the Tooth Fairy’s true identity, so she didn’t tell anyone about her lost tooth for two days. When the tooth remained untouched, that’s when she called shenanigans on the whole T.F. thing.
For any other adults who remember being passed over by the Tooth Fairy, and for any other adults who have kids of their own who have been, uh, inadvertently overlooked a night or two after losing a tooth, it’s a familiar story. It’s one of those life lessons that you don’t even know you never want to learn as a child, and one as an adult that you hope to never be responsible for teaching.
But one way or another, it happens. It always does.
The only thing better than Jennifer’s epic letter? Perhaps the response she got from the Tooth Fairy herself, which she recalls as saying, “I couldn’t get to your pillow the night before last because I got stuck in all the mess. Maybe if you clean your room, I could get to you in a timely manner.”