My husband and I have an anniversary coming up, and guess what we have planned? A quiet evening at home getting our two kids to bed, maybe splurging on some takeout (if we’re feeling crazy!), and then collapsing on the couch to catch up on John Oliver ’til we pass out into our ice cream bowls. (Or one of the kids wakes up — whichever comes first.)
So romantic, right? Such is life with babies.
But I’m still very much looking forward to it, ‘cause I know that my husband will bring home roses, and more importantly, my favorite candy (DOTS), and I’ll have a great excuse to write a super sappy message in a Hallmark card. Plus, at the end of the day, isn’t it all about the little things (that add up to a lot)? Some people might think our anniversary plan is totally lame, but at least one person out there thinks we’re on to something.
Amy Betters-Midtvedt, one of the two voices behind the parenting blog Hiding in the Closet with Coffee, recently wrote a refreshingly honest and heartwarming Facebook post about love.
“Listen up young ones,” Betters-Midtvedt begins her post. “This is what your knight in shining armor looks like when you are in your 40’s … ” and we see a candid photo of her husband walking into a grocery store, wearing a grin.
“Yes, that’s my amazing husband,” she explains, “who is arriving on the scene with his credit card because what you can’t see is me, standing next to a cart super full of groceries that I couldn’t pay for because I couldn’t find my wallet.”
“Young people,” she says, “this is what love looks like when you’re old, and it’s ridiculous how awesome it is.”
Betters-Midtvedt tells Babble that she felt it was important to write about and share this simple story, on account of her two teenage daughters.
“I really want them to see what actual love in action looks like,” the mom of five explains, “and not just what society sometimes tells them they should be looking for.”
Besides, she adds, “Dads and husbands are sometimes portrayed as being a little foolish or inept, but in my experience he is not only helpful but also saves my behind every now and then too!”
In her Facebook post, which has garnered hundreds of likes and shares since she posted it Thursday, Betters-Midtvedt gives several more examples of how her husband Todd shows her he cares, after 19 years of marriage and 25 years together:
“Love also looks like me coming downstairs to a full pot of coffee every morning because coffee is love.” (It SURE is).
“Love looks like all the lunches being made already so I can enjoy that aforementioned cup of coffee.”
“Love looks like someone washing the dishes while his wife catches up on This is Us while plopped on the couch not helping at all.”
Then, she lets readers in on a secret: back when she was dating her now-husband, there were many signs that he would remain a wonderful partner.
“In college this love looked like boyfriend Todd running to the store for a danish I was craving,” she writes, “or watching me and my friends on the dance floor long after he wanted to leave the bar or him being known across campus by the flower backpack he was carrying which of course was mine.”
Then she issues a warning to young people everywhere, to be wary of over-the-top romantic gestures like “promposals and giant cards with candy bars glued to them with some cute saying.”
“That isn’t the stuff that lasts … ” she says — at least not when life gets real and hard and busy and kids are involved.
Betters-Midtvedt urges young people to watch how their partners treat them “when Instagram isn’t looking,” which is a really good point.
“I really want people, especially young people like my daughters to look beyond the superficial when looking to date or define what romantic love looks like,” she continues. “It is not about the show, it is about how someone cherishes you and that should go both ways. I want people to recognize that while romantic love in marriage might not look like it does in the movies, it is actually better.”
Betters-Midtvedt tells Babble that she never expected her post to take off like it has, but she’s so glad that her words are resonating with so many.
“I want to show people that the boring, everyday things we do for each other are actually extraordinary and so important. I’m happy people are seeing their own love reflected in my post, it’s so encouraging.”
I couldn’t agree more. Cheers to the kind of love that would make a terrible motion picture, but makes us smile ear-to-ear and feel grateful every day.