I have six kids. (What can I say? It seemed like a good idea at the time.) And although my days are hectic, there’s a never-ending pile of laundry, and I don’t always remember my kids’ names, there are also many benefits to having a large family. I asked my kids (aged 9 – 20) to share the best things about being part of a big family. Here’s what they had to say:
LEXINGTON, 14: If you’re ever in the bathroom and you’re out of toilet paper, there’s someone to bring it to you.
SAVANNAH, 19: Every time you leave your phone lying around, you get it back filled with selfies of your siblings.
ME: Yeah, or with 200 pictures of your kids.
JACKSON, 17: Don’t leave your phone lying around, then.
BROOKLYN, 9: When I don’t finish my dinner, there’s always someone there to eat it.
JACKSON: You always get to finish your sister’s food.
LEXINGTON, 14: There’s always someone to help you with your math because mom sure can’t.
AUSTIN, 20: Speak for yourself.
SAVANNAH: There’s never any food and the house is always a mess because of the little kids.
ME: You’re supposed to think of benefits of being in a big family.
SAVANNAH: There are benefits?!
JACKSON: There’s always someone who puts your shoe in the guinea pig’s cage.
SAVANNAH: I wouldn’t have put your shoe in there if you hadn’t farted on me!
JACKSON: There’s always someone to fart on you.
ME: Benefits! Think of benefits! Benefits that have nothing to do with bodily functions, please.
JACKSON: There’s always someone to play hockey with you.
AUSTIN: We have our own hockey team! Except that Brooklyn plays like a wall.
ME: Hey! It’s good to be a wall if you’re a goalie.
AUSTIN: She wasn’t the goalie, Mom.
BROOKLYN: There’s always someone to make fun of you. Looking pointedly at Austin.
JACKSON: But there’s always someone to make sure no one else makes fun of you. It’s only acceptable for your siblings to tease you.
SAVANNAH: You have a built-in babysitter.
CLAYTON: You always have someone’s toothbrush to borrow.
ME: You don’t borrow toothbrushes!
CLAYTON: Brooklyn borrowed yours before, mom.
ME: What? Why? What? Why? … WHAT?!
BROOKLYN: What? I couldn’t find mine.
SAVANNAH: You can get group discounts.
AUSTIN: Oh yeah, remember that time we went to the Field Museum and it was cheaper to get a year-long family membership than paying for 8 of us for one day?
CLAYTON: Speaking of … there’s always someone who gets it when you start a story with, “Remember when … ”
AUSTIN: Like remember that time Brooklyn borrowed mom’s toothbrush?
ME: Please stop talking about that!
LEXINGTON: It’s like we have an entire store of hand-me-down clothes packed away.
JACKSON: Yeah, but it would be better if Austin and Savannah had better taste in clothes.
SAVANNAH: It’s not our fault mom bought dorky clothes for us when we were younger.
ME: Well, they weren’t dorky at the time. Can you think of anything else? Any other benefits to being in a large family?
BROOKLYN: There’s always someone else to blame things on.
JACKSON: But we’re all blaming Brooklyn for stealing your toothbrush.
ME: I give up.
So there you have it — the benefits of living in a large family. There is always plenty of teasing, laughs, and love. (But make sure you hide your toothbrush.)