Nothing can truly prepare a mom-to-be for childbirth and the postpartum experience. Not the books. Not the expert advice. Not even listening to all your friends’ stories about how they labored for “hours upon hours” and “didn’t sleep for a month” after the kid was born.
But one mom’s shockingly honest childbirth post might have just gone and solved matters. At a minimum, her now-viral post offers a much-needed slice of reality, along with a heaping dose of humor. New moms be warned: you will
probably definitely pee while you read it. Do not be alarmed. This is just your new normal.
British blogger Bekki Pope, who writes over at Mummy Mumbles, shared her list of “20 things to know when you’ve just pushed out a baby” on Facebook just last month — and to date, it’s been shared more than 111,000 times.
And there’s a reason why women around the world are sending this hilarious mama some virtual fist-bumps.
Her raw and honest post covers all aspects of the post-childbirth experience (and I do mean all), from Mom’s first shower and poop to hospital food and farts.
Of the postpartum body, she writes:
“Everything’s angry. Your brain is angry, your eyes are angry, your tummy, your bladder, your bum. Your vagina isn’t angry. It’s f@&king livid. Give it a while to calm down but right now, you and she ain’t friends … ”
And nothing is off-limits, either — including that sweet little bundle of joy that caused all that anger.
“Your baby looks weird,” Pope admits. “Like … Really weird. ‘Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby’ etc. will be said at you and you’ll accept other people’s opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.”
If talking about livid vaginas and grandpa-doppelganger babies isn’t a much needed breath of fresh air, I don’t know what is.
Pope also offers some killer observations while she’s at it — like the fact that “your tummy is now resembling a balloon that’s slowly deflating and feeling very sorry for itself.” Um … yep.
She’s also got some sage advice to share. For instance, “only accept visitors if you are up to it [since you’re] still so high on drugs that making conversation with adults is like trying to sieve flour with a fishing net.” Again: Accurate.
But perhaps her best piece of advice of all is something that’s much easier said than done: Stop worrying so much. Yet somehow, Pope delivers these words of wisdom in a way that feels like you’re have coffee with your BFF and everything really will be okay.
“You’re not superwoman,” she writes. “There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby’s normal. You are your baby’s perfect. They aren’t judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake.”
Laced throughout her words of empowerment, however, is some hilariously brutal honesty. “There’s nothing you can’t do,” Pope tells moms. “Except sleep. You can’t do that anymore.”
Sad, but true.