Dad’s Sarcastic Rant About His College Daughter Coming Home for the Holidays Will Make You Laugh-Cry

While my mom constantly reiterates, “All I want for Christmas is for my kids to be home with me,” my dad has somewhat of a different opinion. He loves his three daughters to no end, and he certainly wants us all home for the holidays, but he is not always thrilled about the chaos that comes with all of us being reunited. My sisters and I are in our early 20s — all grown and nearly out of college. We love getting together for the holidays, but it’s admittedly a lot of estrogen and noise for my father to handle.

Let’s just say that I’ve been home for less than 24 hours and my sisters and I have already managed to compile a mountain of laundry, disruptively make popcorn at 1:30 AM, and cover the kitchen in flour while baking cookies. ‘Tis the season, right?

Dan Howard, of Cape Elizabeth, Maine, shares these sentiments. He took to Facebook to sarcastically share just how excited he was about his college student daughter’s return home for the holidays — and it’s hilarious.

He recounts her visit from the moment he picked her up from the airport, saying:

“Day 1 was great, it was a work night and her plane was delayed, so it got in around 1 in the morning. She had the heaviest piece of luggage I’ve ever felt in my whole life, it must have been 150 pounds. The wheel was broken so I had to carry it across the whole airport and the parking garage, but it’s Christmas season and we love to have her.”

Does this sound familiar? Because this sounds exactly like my youngest sister. Howard continued on to discuss his daughter’s late night antics — including baking with friends and leaving the kitchen a mess and singing Don McLean’s classic “American Pie” late into the night. What really struck a chord with my parents were Howard’s jokes about his daughter’s piles of clothes.

“Day 4: she hasn’t brought her luggage upstairs yet. … She piles clothes all over her room so we don’t go to the gym anymore. We just jump over the piles in her room. It’s good for the quads, very good for the quads.”

*Looks to the entryway of my parents’ house and notices my own luggage is near the door still* Oops.

The video, which has over 10K likes, 8K shares, and over 1 million views, has gone viral since it was posted on December 17th. It is truly so relatable, right down to the last moment when the funny dad says, “Day 5: I’ve actually called the airport, bus terminals, trains. There’s no way to get her back to college. Do you think Uber?”

While my sisters and I have only just arrived, I’m sure my poor father will inevitably be reaching this point in a few days himself. Not only has the video made my entire family laugh, but it reminded me how much my dad, and all dads, sacrifice for their kids.

Stay strong dads of college-aged daughters — we’ll leave you in peace with your sports and most comfortable spot on the couch soon enough.

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