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Dear Mommies — It’s Not What You Were Expecting, Is It?

Image Source: Thinkstock
Image Source: Thinkstock

Dear pregnant momma,

It’s not what you were expecting, is it?

You’ve traded your thin body and sanity for swelling, puking, heartburn, hormonal rages, zero lung capacity, constant exhaustion, and having to stay off of your back. You’ve discovered that “the glow” is really just you being super hot and sweaty all the time. You were all excited to be pregnant but now you just want the stinkin’ kid out. Like yesterday.

It gets better.

Sooner than you think you’ll have your baby in your arms. You’ll feel the incredible joy that comes with your baby falling asleep on your chest. You’ll be able to breathe in that new baby smell and brush your fingers against that new baby skin. Every poopy diaper and every lift of the head will validate your beliefs that your baby is the most advanced baby in the history of the world.

Dear brand new mommy,

It’s not what you were expecting, is it?

Sure, you’ve lost some of that weight and you can sleep on your back again, but wait. You never sleep anymore. That adorable little mouth on your new baby lets forth unholy screams at unholy hours. And that poop! It never ends! You change diapers more than you thought humanly possible. And while it’s cute and all, that new baby just doesn’t do much other than cover you in yuck and cry.

It gets better.

Sooner than you think that baby will be toddling around the house on their chubby little legs. Those screams will turn into “mamas” and “dadas.” That little face will light up every time they see you because your baby loves you more than anything. Play time will involve giggles and babbling and smiles all around. You’ll see the world through new eyes as your baby experiences everything for the first time.

Dear mama of the toddler,

It’s not what you were expecting, is it?

It’s a good thing your baby is cute, because otherwise you would sell it to the circus in a heartbeat. You leave the room for two minutes to pee (for the first time in 12 hours) and you come back to your baby, walls, television, and brand new couch covered in permanent marker and paint. You were all excited because you were finally getting into the schedule of napping when your baby naps, but now you’ve learned the truth: toddlers never sleep.

It gets better.

Sooner than you think that toddler will start school. They’ll come home and want to read stories with you and eventually to you. They’ll be able to hold real conversations and you’ll finally experience the hilarity that is “kids say the darnest things.” That little personality that you were seeing peeks and glimpses of before will come out in full force and your baby will start to seem more like a person.

Dear mom of the grade-schooler,

It’s not what you were expecting, is it?

This kid never stops talking. Not only that, but 90% of the talking is questions and 90% of those questions are asking for snacks. And the awkward questions have begun, like why some of their friends have penises and some of them have vaginas. They’re not as messy anymore — at least not on purpose — but they’re clumsy as all get-out and things just seem to magically break around them. It’s like a terrible, terrible superpower.

It gets better.

Sooner than you think, your grade-schooler will turn into a teenager. They will be independent and intelligent. They’ll morph even more into the awesome adult they will one day become. They will form their own opinions and you can have educated discussions with them.

Dear mother of a teenager,

It’s not what you were expecting, is it?

Sure, they’ll be able to drive their own car one day, but until that day you’ll be their full-time chauffeur. They can feed themselves, but your grocery bill will triple. They are more intelligent, but they assume that means that they are more intelligent than you are. The angst in your house will increase exponentially and you’ll understand that it’s not the mother that sets the mood in the house — it’s often the teenager.

It gets better.

One day your teenager will move out and start their own life. They’ll call you up on the phone and apologize for their teenage self. They’ll ask for your advice and opinions because they’ll finally realize that you have been where they are. And best of all, one day they might even give you grandbabies.

Dear grandmother,

It doesn’t get much better than this, does it?

It’s so easy to get frustrated with where you are in life and to just pray for the next stage of parenthood to begin. Remember this though: it gets better, but in a weird, paradoxical way, it doesn’t get any better than this. Don’t forget to enjoy your child for who they are right now. Focus on the fun and exciting parts — they’re there, I swear! Don’t get caught up wishing for the future and let the present just pass you by.

Because before you know it, you won’t be able to rock that baby to sleep anymore. Before you know it, that baby will have proper grammar and all those “twains” and “wocket ships” will be in the past. Before you know it, your baby will be leaving you for college. And it would be terrible to realize you never appreciated the time you got to spend with them.

Article Posted 3 years Ago

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