Derrick Jaxn nailed it when he said everything that single moms want single men to hear, in two minutes and fifty-five seconds.
“So I just saw a comment on one of my YouTube videos on why it takes a grown-ass man in order to date a single mom, and in fact the comment was a challenge. This brother challenged me to name one benefit to dating a woman with children, and while I do love challenges, this wasn’t one at all.”
Thank you Jaxn. On behalf of single mothers everywhere, we resoundingly agree.
As a single mom myself for five years, I have heard every excuse in the book from men who used my children as a reason not to date me. One guy even went so far as to take me on a first date, and then tell me — in the middle of dinner — that he didn’t typically date single moms because he didn’t feel like it was his responsibility to deal with my “baggage.” But, since he decided that my looks “brought up my average a bit,” he would see if he could deal with my children.
I got up, grabbed my purse and burger (why waste the whole night and still leave hungry?) and walked out of the restaurant.
I knew that I was worth more than some guy who saw my children as baggage. But over the years, what I learned was that most of the people who understood that were other single moms. There was a distinctively noticeable lack of testosterone in our corner.
It’s about time that we had a man like Jaxn stand up for us — and stand up he did. Jaxn, you get us.
Thankfully, he doesn’t see our children as baggage. He notes:
“Her children are a reflection of her,” he points out, acknowledging that we are regular women, with bonus skills. “She’s no stranger to spending within a budget, instead of being financially irresponsible,” he explains in his video. “Because most women with children, they’ve had to make a dollar stretch at some point. So that means when times get tight, you [not gonna have to] lecture her on not spending money on B.S., because she already has first things first; she has already developed financial discipline.”
Jaxn, you give us hope that some men do understand that we aren’t just a group of stereotyped women, living off the money that having a baby got us.
“A single mom is likely to have her own, or be in the process of getting her own, because contrary to popular belief, IF she is getting child support, it ain’t enough to live on,” he says boldly, shattering the myth that single moms are just lazy, money hungry breeders.
And beyond what he shares about our practical (and amazing) single mom assets, he touched on how single parenting has changed us as people and made us better partners. He continues to preach:
“A woman with a child is the least likely to run out at the first sign of trouble or a storm, because not only is she invested, so is her child. And when I say storm, I’m not talking about you cheating or doing her wrong, because with a child or without, most women will leave your ass, but I’m talking about loss of job, or a sickness, or even a bad argument. See, while a woman without a child has the luxury of jumping from train to train depending on which ride is the smoothest, a single mom doesn’t want to uproot her child over and over again, so she is going to fight as long as you are fighting too.”
Our children are not baggage, Jaxn confirms.
“The moral of the story is this,” Jaxn says as he sums it up for all single mothers. “In order to appreciate the benefits of dating a woman with a child, you have to — one, have long-term intentions. And two, have no intentions of playing games with her, because she is not going to play with you. If you think that her having children wipes out every benefit of being with her, then no woman would be benefited by being with you.”
Can I get a hell yeah?
Thank you Jaxn, for clearing up the misconceptions that men have about dating us. I think we can all agree that single mothers are awesome, and we don’t have time for the men who can’t see that.